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tigerkirby215 · 2 years ago

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Another Bel’veth build (Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition)

(Artwork by Edward Chee and West Studios. Made for Riot Games.)

I did like my original Bel’veth build: I felt like it captured her ability to create summons and use powerful Void abilities to empower herself... I didn’t expect Bel’veth’s gameplay to be slapping people constantly. While full Bladesinger worked it suffered for a variety of reasons: you were squishy and lacked the true mobility Bel’veth has. And notably there was nothing with Void Coral as a Bladesinger. So here’s a second build that I think also captures Bel’veth in a similar light, although perhaps not the way you’re all expecting because she still won’t have Monk levels.

GOALS

I’m not going to make a fancy list of goals like I usually do since I already made a build for Bel’veth, and the goals are about the same: hit hard, dash around, summon void fish.

The difference with this build is that it’s going to be taking a more martial focus, although I’m still going to have some caster levels (I need void fish from somewhere.) I also tried my best to incorporate Bel’veth’s Void Coral mechanic into this build, and while I did take it in an interesting direction I think you’ll all enjoy it.

RACE

Still making a Simic Hybrid, still increasing Intelligence by 2 and Dexterity by 1, still getting all the same traits including Manta Glide from Animal Enhancements.

ABILITY SCORES

Not gonna write reasoning why these are just the stats you need.

15; DEXTERITY

14; INTELLIGENCE

13; CONSTITUTION

12; WISDOM

10; CHARISMA

8; STRENGTH

Wait this is literally the exact same stat array as last time.

BACKGROUND

Still using the Faceless background with the same proficiencies in Deception and Intimidation and the same background trait of Dual Personalities.

(Artwork by @denilveart on Twitter.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ROGUE 1

Starting off as a Rogue for good ol’ skill proficiencies, and also because it would be kinda redundant to make this build start off the exact same way as the last one. Regardless you can grab proficiency in Acrobatics, Perception, Persuasion, and Stealth (because you’re a Rogue, I guess.) You can also grab Expertise in either Deception or Persuasion depending on how you want to run Bel’veth, and Stealth. (Again: because you’re a Rogue, I guess.)

Other than that you learn Thieves’ Cant because the void knows all, including weird code languages. But most importantly if a foe is distracted by your subjects or your voidspawn you can get a Sneak Attack in, dealing an extra d6 of damage.

LEVEL 2 - ROGUE 2

Second level Rogues get access to Cunning Action to Dash, Disengage, or Hide as a Bonus Action. Use your mobility to weave around danger and also hide to get the jump on prey! It’s worth mentioning that since you have a Cunning Action you can probably grab a rapier for this build instead of opting to do two-weapon fighting.

LEVEL 3 - ROGUE 3

Finally time to get your Roguish Archetype, and we’ll be going for Phantom to start. For now that doesn’t give us too much: you can use Whispers of the Dead to give yourself a new skill (or tool) proficiency at the end of a Short or Long Rest, giving you plenty of flexibility with any task you may need to do out of combat.

But the main feature to talk about is Wails from the Grave. When you strike with your Sneak Attack, you can deal half of it in Necrotic damage to another target within 30 feet of the target you struck. While this doesn’t apply to the target you hit (obviously) it’s a very good way to spread extra true damage around (unless the foe is a zombie or something.)

For now you can only use this feature a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, but that’s okay because your Sneak Attack only does 2d6 currently. It’s still a nice way to spread damage amongst your foes however.

LEVEL 4 - ROGUE 4

Honestly going 4 levels deep into Rogue wasn’t that necessary to start. Hell, we could’ve probably jumped off at 2 levels. But I figured we may as well grab the first Ability Score Improvement for more Dexterity. But you’re more than free to change up the leveling as you see fit.

(Artwork by @Skiz0h on Twitter.)

LEVEL 5 - WIZARD 1

First of all: you can now get your Carapace from Animal Enhancements for a nice solid +1 to your AC.

But yes we are going to borrow a bit from the other Bel’veth build: I’d suggest the same cantrips of Booming Blade, Mind Sliver, and Message, and the same spells of Mage Armor, Shield, Disguise Self, Sleep, and Detect Magic. I will however make specific mention of Find Familiar as having your void remora distract a foe and give you the Help action will make it very easy for you to trigger Sneak Attack.

Oh and again: you can use Arcane Recovery to get some spell slots back, which will obviously be helpful.

LEVEL 6 - WIZARD 2

Yes we are going with Bladesinging again, although this time you should probably grab Scimitar proficiency from Training in War and Song as it’s the only DEX-based weapon Rogues don’t have proficiency with (other than Whips I suppose.)

We’re going with Bladesinger again simply because Bladesong is too good for defense. Adding your Intelligence to AC (and Concentration checks) makes you incredibly sturdy, and the increased movement speed is helpful too. The advantage on Acrobatics checks in particular will be a lot better now that you have proficiency in Acrobatics!

And finally you can grab both Identify and Earth Tremor, for identifying magical artifacts and knocking foes down with your tail.

LEVEL 7 - WIZARD 3

Second level spells time, and here’s where things will vary up a bit: take Misty Step (because obviously we need Flash) but the main spell we’ll be using in this build is Flock of Familiars. You can summon 3 void remora (not stacking with the Find Familiar spell, unfortunately) to act like regular familiars. This notably means that all three of them can distribute the Help action to you or your allies to swing fights in your favor thanks to your children. Flock of Familiars is sadly a concentration spell though, but if you use your Cunning Action to Disengage and Hide you shouldn’t be hit hard enough to lose concentration, especially while in Bladesong.

LEVEL 8 - WIZARD 4

Hey look another Ability Score Improvement. Since we aren’t really using Intelligence for anything (INT won’t make your void remora any better) more Dexterity will give you better AC as well as a better chance to hit!

You can also learn two more spells: Mirror Image is still a good pickup (especially now that your Dexterity is higher) but I’d actually recommend Kinetic Jaunt as your second spell, for more mobility and the ability to disengage basically 24/7 in case you really need to use your Bonus Action to hide instead. You can also learn another cantrip and Mage Hand is still probably your most useful option, even if you could probably have your Void Remora grab things for you.

LEVEL 9 - WIZARD 5

5th level Wizards get 3rd level spell slots to cast spells like Fly (to, well... fly, because that’s a thing you do), but I’m actually going to jump back to 2nd level for Vortex Warp. Your Intelligence isn’t good enough for any saving throw spells (yet) and you should really be concentrating on Flock of Familiars anyways, so grabbing Vortex Warp as a utility to save your subjects is more useful overall.

LEVEL 10 - WIZARD 6

The main reason for the Wizard dip was (ironically enough) Extra Attack. No matter how you spin it one more chance to Sneak Attack is incredibly valuable, especially since you can mix a cantrip in with your attacks for even more potential damage.

You also learn two more spells though and I assume Hypnotic Pattern and Tidal Wave will be good as your levels increase and your saving throw DC increases. But remember that the Void hungers for knowledge, and you can hunger for spell scrolls through the entire campaign to increase your knowledge.

(Artwork by @NeutrallawA on Twitter.)

LEVEL 11 - ROGUE 5

Now that we got extra attack (and then some): it’s Roguing time! Along with a 3d6 Sneak Attack (which does also make Wails from the Grave stronger because that ability rounds up) you also get Uncanny Dodge, allowing you to use your reaction to halve an incoming attack’s damage. I mean, Shield is almost always a better option but at least if you’re stuck by one very powerful blow you can use this to reduce the damage. Although it has to be from a weapon, so results may vary.

LEVEL 12 - ROGUE 6

6th level Rogues get Expertise in two more skills! Take Expertise in whichever skill you didn’t grab at level 1 (so either Deception or Persuasion) along with Perception, because your other skills honestly aren’t that useful.

LEVEL 13 - ROGUE 7

7th level Rogues see their Sneak Attack increase to 4d6, adding quite a bit of sting to the attacks of a void stingray. More importantly however you get Evasion, allowing you to halve the damage of DEX saves you fail and take no damage if you succeed! Dash around skillshots to keep yourself alive in a fight!

LEVEL 14 - ROGUE 8

More Intelligence would probably be useful as a Wizard? Yeah I agree. Anyways take Resilient Constitution because concentrating on Flock of Familiars is far more important, and also because more health is nice.

(Artwork by KasumiTan on DeviantArt. I’m actually kinda surprised I found Bel’veth artwork on DA.)

LEVEL 15 - ROGUE 9

Total level 15 isn’t too late to get Void Coral, right? When a creature dies within 30 feet you can use your reaction to grab a Tokens of the Departed. While you have a soul trinket you have advantage on death saving throws and Constitution saving throws (which notably extends to Concentration checks!), and when you deal Sneak Attack damage on your turn, you can destroy one of your soul trinkets to immediately use Wails from the Grave without expending a use of that feature, which is nice because your Sneak Attack now does 5d6 (and your Wails from the Grave does 3d6 because of rounding upwards.)

Additionally as an action you can destroy one of your soul trinkets to ask the spirit associated with the trinket one question. They have no obligation to be truthful, and it grants you knowledge as concisely as possible. You can have a maximum number of soul trinkets equal to your proficiency bonus, and you can’t create one while at your maximum. But don’t worry: all those around you are just food for the void, giving you more Wails from the Grave as your foes fall.

LEVEL 16 - ROGUE 10

Wizards of the Coast sorta just... randomly decided that Rogues get one extra Ability Score Improvement? But that’s good for us because you can finally increase your Intelligence for more Wizard spells prepared and maybe actually a midway decent spell save DC.

LEVEL 17 - ROGUE 11

11th level Rogues have a Reliable Talent to roll a 10 baseline for any ability check they’re proficient in. This has natural synergy with Whispers of the Dead but as per standard whenever we get this ability in a Rogue build I like to list out all your ability checks and the minimum roll you could get at this level:

27 Stealth

23 Perception

22 Persuasion / Deception

21 Acrobatics

16 Intimidation / Performance

And to top it off your Sneak Attack now does 6d6 damage!

LEVEL 18 - ROGUE 12

12th level Rogues get another Ability Score Improvement and feel free to take feats if you wish but I’m going to keep it simple with another +2 to Intelligence, capping off that score so you can have most of your spells prepared and foes might actual fail saves against your spells.

LEVEL 19 - ROGUE 13

13th level Phantom Rogues can assume their true forms as a bonus action, entering a Ghost Walk. While in your true form you have a flying speed of 10 feet and can hover, and attack rolls have disadvantage against you. You can also move through creatures and objects as if they were difficult terrain, but take 1d10 force damage if you end your turn inside a creature or object. You can stay in your true form for 10 minutes unless you end it early as a bonus action, and you’ll have to consume some Void Coral (IE your Soul Trinkets) to enter this form again. (But at least you get one free use per Long Rest.)

And to top it off your Sneak Attack now deals 7d6, meaning that Wails from the Grave will deal 4d6 damage!

LEVEL 20 - ROGUE 14

Our final level is the 14th level Rogue for a 10 foot Blindsense. Yeah not the most impressive capstone all things considered, but it makes sense for Bel’veth to see foes that are hidden or invisible.

FINAL BUILD

Not putting Bel’veth quotes in this section either, partially because the Wiki doesn’t have them all written down but mostly because I’m lazy.

PROS

Well for one Rogues have a lot more health than Wizards, and Cunning Action will help you keep out of the line of fire by Disengaging and Hiding during combat.

Of course being a Rogue makes you a good skill monkey as well, with all the skills you have proficiency in being boosted by Reliable Talent, and Expertise carrying you a long way.

And finally your Void Remora (Flock of Familiars) allows you to fill a strong utility role both in and out of combat, granting allies Help and scouting out with your pets.

CONS

For a start you’re not a 20th level spellcaster, which means you don’t have access to Wish. In fact you don’t have a lot of spells in general, and unlike a class like Warlock you can’t always have them on demand.

Additionally Phantom Rogue is the definition of a “hard carry” subclass that doesn’t come online until about level 9, which is kinda a problem when you multiclass. If you aren’t going past level 10 taking any other Rogue subclass would probably would be better.

And uhhhhhh... We didn’t take proficiency in any Intelligence skills, I guess? Honestly the only problems with this build are just “you’re not a level 20 caster” and “you take awhile to get this build online.”

But here’s a different direction to take Bel’veth with less minions and magic and more slapping. Unfortunately I can’t get that many attacks (5e kinda doesn’t handle multiple attacks well outside of Fighter or Monk both of which require too much level investment) but I still think the fantasy provided is good. A lot of the fun of Bel’veth is roleplay, but do make sure that everyone is having fun with the void empress in the party.

(Artwork by @BlackFoxAID on Twitter.)

#dnd #dnd build #dnd guide #League of Legends #League of Legends Bel'veth #Bel'veth #void #empress #empress of the void #lavender sea #manta ray #dnd wizard #dnd bladesinger #dnd rogue #thicc #thighs #still #save #lives

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strazem · 4 years ago

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I noticed that I’ve been getting blocked by a lot of Ososan artists lately and... At this point I’m sure it’s because of bad rumors and misinfo getting spread about me in discord servers. I’m going to put a lot of this under a readmore because I don’t want to clog people’s dashes with this, but I really want to clear the air here as I feel like there are a lot of things being left out of the narratives people are telling about me, and also the fact this is still happening and has been for four-five years, isolating me from a lot of the ososan community and hurting me in a very deep way...

Now, first off, I’m not here to say that over the past 4-5 years I wasn’t immature and childish. There were many times where I was, even to the point the behaviors could be seen as abusive or toxic even if that wasn’t the intention. I was in my early to mid 20s and had serious issues with oversharing my thoughts and feelings with people I really only knew casually, usually to the point of making them uncomfortable. I would also use all caps a lot, not really realizing the effect it had on people, making others feel like they were being shouted at. I would also act immaturely when I saw that other roleplay blogs were getting more attention than mine, even though the ones I had were for OCs, which meant that of course canon characters would get more traction.

Again, I was very young and not very socially developed. I am by no means trying to use my autism as an excuse, but rather an explanation.

Prior to getting into Ososan around 2016, I did not have any “real life” friends, that is, friends I knew in person. I did not know anyone my age and socializing was, and still is pretty limited to just my immediate family. Almost all of my interactions were online, and even that I struggled with. I had recently gotten out of an abusive relationship as well, and was just starting college. I did not think about how others felt enough and was too concerned with saying my piece and sharing my own opinions, making everything about me or about how I felt, and less about the other person. Again, this is something I’ve struggled with for most of my life as part of my ASD, but I’m still not excusing it by any means, especially considering the fact that other people ended up hurt.

I think the main issue was how immature and self-focused I was if I’m being honest, and how I would tend to make everything about me and how I felt and what I made.

My intentions were always good, that never changed. But as people have stated to me before, good intentions don’t mean anything if the outcome is bad. My immaturity really ended up hurting a lot of other people’s feelings and causing a lot of resentment, and I am by no means saying that anyone has to forgive me or be “ok” with me.

What I do wish though is that perhaps people who I have had struggles with in the past could refrain from spreading biased opinions of me to people who have never even met me. I understand wanting to support your friends, and I also understand that when someone you know tells you someone is “bad news”, it’s natural to take their word for it, especially if they only show screenshots of me at my lowest rather than when I was trying my absolute best to be a good friend, despite my immaturity.

However, I’ll be honest and say that I do think that this behavior in general seems counterproductive and perhaps even concerning... If there’s someone that upset me in my past, I don’t tell others or divulge about them to new people I meet unless I felt they did something actually illegal. I remember misinforming about someone in the ososan community based on false claims and I still feel guilty about it to this day, so I’ve also been guilty of this in the past. It’s also important to keep in mind that if someone is really making someone out to sound terrible or horrible that there is usually a bias clouding their perception. I've sat and reflected a lot on my own biases these past five years in therapy, and at the end of the day, I don’t think most people have bad intentions, at least not lonely kids in a small fandom. I think it’s a lot of miscommunication, lack of confrontation, and fear rather than any malicious intent.

Because if there’s one thing I know that I’m not, it’s a manipulator. I straight up do not have the social intelligence for that. I would all caps, I would get upset and leave chats and worry people, I would go on rants that people couldn’t talk me down from, or get too emotionally volatile, or put my own emotional issues onto other people by panicking and venting and putting on a scary and upsetting scene, but I never tried to manipulate anyone or turn anyone’s friends against them. The only two instances I can think of that even come close to me “warning” anyone about someone (and not for blm*tsu related reasons) happened in 2018 and 2019, well after all of this was (I assumed) done with.

Most of my issues that people have gotten upset with me for was regarding my social immaturity, self-centeredness, altercations, public panic attacks, public mental breakdowns and a tendency to go off on emotional and heated rants, especially in public areas and in public chats. That’s why this thing about me being a manipulator seems misinformed to me, because I’ve never been great at DMing or talking to others one on one, I think anyone that’s known me will agree. Many of these altercations happened in public group chats.

I’m assuming that many of the bad rumors being spread about me are regarding my skype days back in 2016-2017, back before discord became the new norm for online chatting and servers and such, as well as a very specific “drama” that happened on anti-bl oso-twitter concerning people that had met in an osomatsu-san kin discord server (which I was not in or even knew about).

Essentially, I befriended some of these people on twitter through people that had been in my second skype roleplay group (the first one I made was in 2016 I believe). I was unaware of any previous dramas or issues and was even unaware that said “person of interest” was even upset with me or thought I was toxic or bad. I had figured we had just stopped talking due to naturally drifting apart. Of course, in my young and naive mind, before understanding “social media etiquette” I went to go ask them why they had blocked me on twitter (I had started being active on twitter during that time.)

And of course, in my immaturity, was freaking out and panicking about having been blocked by someone I thought was a friend to people in my second roleplay group chat... As always... Ugh.. It wasn’t anything malicious though, just confusion and me being scared I had done something wrong.

One member in the roleplay group though, who I guess was a member of the osomatsu-san kin discord, started going off about said “person of interest”, claiming they had gotten their friend into a car accident and that they had groomed minors. Another person in the roleplay group felt the allegations were crazy and unfounded and left. Meanwhile, I was just lost as to what was even happening, I wasn’t aware these people were this connected or knew each other and admittedly, did a pretty poor job as a mod/admin that I didn’t stop the discussions sooner.

I have no idea if the claims were true or not, I imagine they were exaggerated due to bias, I have no idea, but then the same person who had made those claims showed me screenshots that “person of interest” sent to their mutual friend about me. How I was scary and toxic, that I had upset lots of people.. That they were panicking that I even contacted them on tumblr with a friendly “hello!”

Naturally, I responded with confusion. Again, my autism makes it very difficult for me to realize when people are upset or frustrated with me, especially over text. At the time, I couldn’t think of anything I had done to upset them and was very hurt and confused, as our last actual interaction had been seemingly positive.

I did not try to turn anyone against them though. Here’s what actually happened: After being given this info, I also learned that there was a small discord group of the friend group that the person making the claims was from. I joined it hoping to learn more or get some sort of clarification only to find out that this entire group was very upset with “person of interest”. Like very upset. They made claims that this person lied, that this person liked to play victim as a way to manipulate others, that they had groomed two of the people in the group, that they had said unsettling things, that they would do strange and backhanded things ect. Again, I don’t know if these statements are true and I’m not trying to claim they are, I just know that this group of friends had been very upset with "person of interest” before I had even come into the picture. They were already planning on cutting them off!

I did not sway anyone or say anything, I was literally just there in the hopes of finding out if I’d done something wrong.

Of course, this doesn’t at all excuse when I was still friends with “person of interest” and subjected them to my barrage of emotional baggage and panic attacks. I just want to make it clear that I never sent anyone after them or tried to turn their friends against them. In fact, I even tried to help them when they came to my twitter DMs asking me for help. I was already incredibly scared of pissing anyone off in general, and tried to keep things peaceful on both sides. When I asked the second roleplay group if they’d be okay with them rejoining, it was a unanimous “no”... I distinctly remember offering to still roleplay with them one on one and to make a new group that they could be in (and this was even after I had been shown the screenshots of them calling me toxic, which I still wasn’t holding against them!), but the offer was turned down.

I’ve noticed this very distinct pattern over the years of me running into a lot of issues due to miscommunication as well. It was very rare that people would express with me how they were feeling, or when they did, it was usually during one of my panic attacks, which were often bad enough that my brain would repress the memories of what happened during them the second they stopped, and it was rare that I would actually go back and read the things I said. People have had a very easy time going to others and complaining or venting about me to friends, but have had a very hard time actually telling me these complaints themselves, as themselves. I don’t really blame them, as we were all pretty young and given how much I freaked out publicly, it would make sense to be scared of how I might react. Not to mention there were probably things in their own pasts that made something like confrontation difficult. However, what I don’t understand is why this would still be happening five years later... I would assume by this point people would have moved on, especially regarding spats within fandoms.

I hold no ill will towards people in my past who’ve gotten upset with me, I do not hold grudges, and for the most part, if someone wants to cut contact with me, I just accept it and move on. But now that I’m noticing that these false claims are being spread around to other people in the fandom, people who weren’t even involved in these situations, blocking me based off of... Stuff they’ve heard about me... I felt a need to say something.

Honestly, my biggest wish or hope is that, given that it has been five or so years, that people who have never spoken to me or met me before maybe give me another chance? If I have personally hurt you, I don’t want you to feel the need to reach some sort of conclusion with me, or forgive me, or whatever...

But at the very least, perhaps people could be more careful when sharing personal issues we went through with other people, people who know very little about me and who I am and only know me through the lenses and narratives of people who felt slighted by me.

I have changed immensely over the past five years, more than I can even describe. I am not the same person mentally that I was, I have had therapy, I have had help, I have reflected, I have become more sensitive to other people’s thoughts and feelings. I even managed to help a friend of mine get therapy! I was not perfect, I behaved irrationally, but I do think it’s important to drive home the fact that it has been a few years and that I’ve made a lot of progress and that as I’m nearing 30, I have mentally matured quite a bit.

Again, no one from my past has to forgive me, I am not here to dictate how people should feel about me. I am just here to try to share my own side seeing as how I am unable to join most ososan servers and communities nowadays, and thus have a harder time being able to get in contact with or reach others.

I’ve been dying to say something, but kept worrying that it would stir up negative feelings or memories for others, but it’s getting to a point now where I’ve felt so isolated and hated by the fandom for five whole years that I’ve actually started having thoughts of self-harm again for the first time in awhile. I’m not saying this to make anyone feel guilty, and I haven’t acted on the thoughts, I just need to be honest.

This sort of behavior on the internet; gossiping about others, spreading misinformation about others, using a position of influence within a fandom to keep someone from making friends in fandom spaces... Or maybe people don’t even realize how much their words can affect others? Especially if they’re well-liked and exist in a lot of spaces. I’m sure there are no actual bad intentions when people say these things or vent to their friends.

And while I explained that one specific incident in detail that was with a specific person, it is not the only issue I’ve gotten myself into over the years either. I simply spoke about that one as I am just guessing it’s the big reason a lot of this is still going on to this day. I behaved poorly enough in the past that separate groups of people have ended up mad at me, regardless of even knowing each other. I was incredibly troubled, dealing with the aftermath of an abusive relationship, overworked with my animation assignments, and incredibly clueless in social situations or trying to relate to others. Again, these aren’t excuses... But explanations. Mentally ill people are not well, that’s why it’s an illness. In 2016-2017, I was at the lowest of my low, and continued to be until around the Fall of 2019. I have also matured significantly since, and have been working with a far more effective therapist as of late 2018, which I think is why I had such a positive change by 2019, as well as finding wonderful and supportive friends who truly care about me.

I know this is getting really long, too long honestly, but I really needed to get this off my chest...

I’m trying to decide whether or not this will be one of my final posts on tumblr as a whole, as I don’t think I will be able to participate in enjoying ososan publicly with how isolated I’ve been over the years by various groups and people; I think by this point the reputation is too soured for me to be a part of the community. Again, probably not out of malice, but fear and resentment at how I’ve acted.

The fact that I’m seeing more than a few people in ososan fandom I’ve never really spoken to, or people I was mutuals with blocking me is enough I think for me to consider calling it quits for public enjoyment. The fandom is already very small, and the anti-bl side is even smaller, so everyone is pretty interconnected and rumors can spread very easily. There’s no way I can compete with that, especially if I’m barred from most servers anyways.

I’m still going to mull it over, but again, if you’ve never met me, or if you’ve only seen screenshots of me from 2016 while panicking or allcapsing or at my worst... All I can really do is hope that maybe you’ll be able to see past these things and consider giving me a chance.

As for the people I genuinely did hurt, I know I’ve said sorry many times now, even on my old blog Nutastic which I abandoned for similar reasons, but I don’t know how else or how better to prove how genuinely sorry I am... Because the proof of regret is in changing and becoming a better person, and there’s not much chance to see if I have or haven’t if I’ve been cut off.

No one has to forgive me, but perhaps at least entertain the idea I might’ve changed over the course of five years, and that telling people how I was back then instead of who I am now seems a bit unfair. Again, I suppose I dug my own grave by behaving like that in the first place, but I always try to show empathy even to people who wronged me at a low place in their lives, unless they were incredibly abusive and cruel.

At the end of the day, we’re all just people trying to enjoy a show about wacky sextuplets, and I don’t think anyone actually has any ill-will in their hearts, or has it in them to be “bad”, specifically on the anti-bl side. I don’t hold grudges, there’s no one that I currently have blocked unless they are a bl or a man that made me uncomfortable. My DMs are always open, as is my askbox.

Feel free to ask me anything or confront me about anything, though admittedly, doing so through anon makes it hard for me to reply as I don’t want to post anything potentially upsetting publicly.

And I will try to come to a decision about whether or not to pull a Jenna Marbles and leave social media for good out of regret and declining mental health. I will most likely make a post about it when I’m feeling more capable.

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope your year is going good so far despite... Well, everything

#//VERY LONG #//important

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annab-nana · 5 years ago

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Stupid Cupid - Colby Brock

Normally, y/n and Colby spend Valentine’s Day together because they are both single, but this year, y/n has a boyfriend. Her Valentine’s date takes an unexpected turn, ending with her night spent crying in Colby’s arms.

Warnings: some curse words

Word Count: 2.7k+

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"Colby likes skittles, right?" I ask Sam as I hold my phone to my ear with my shoulder. My hands were full of a few stuffed animals and a cute basket that I had found and filled with several kinds of candy. Normally on Valentine's Day, Colby and I both are single, and we stay in, order some food, and go get discount chocolate the next day. This has been our tradition for the past few years, but last March, I started dating Josh and we've been together ever since. I decided to get something together for him since all his best friends have girlfriends and I have a boyfriend. I think it will brighten his day and make him happy.

"Yes, he does. Who doesn't like skittles, y/n?" I hear Sam's laugh bellow through the speaker of my phone. I giggle along with him at myself.

"Leave me alone, Samuel. I just wanted to make sure, so I decided to call his other half. You two are basically married at this point." We chuckled together before I heard a beep on my phone. I sat down my basket before looking at my phone. Josh is calling me.

"I got to go, Sam. Josh is calling me." I say quickly.

"Okay, bye," Sam says before I end the call to answer Josh. I press the green button and place my phone back where it was so that I can grab my basket and continue shopping.

"Hey, babe!" I say excitedly. I haven't talked to him since last night when I fell asleep on him on FaceTime.

"Hey princess, I was just calling to let you know that I am picking you up at six tomorrow for dinner." I heard his sweet voice tell me. A blush rose to my cheeks at the nickname. He calls me that all the time and every time, I feel butterflies.

"Will you please tell me where we're going?" I whine into the phone as I look through the Valentine's Day cards, trying to find one that's perfect for Colby.

"Nope but dress nice." He's been aggravating me all week by not telling me where we're going, but tomorrow night, I will finally find out.

"I hope you know you're annoying," I inform him, and he chuckles in response.

"I know, but you love me anyway." I smile and nod my head, forgetting he can't see me.

"Yes, I do. I do love you." I tell him as I smile like an idiot in the middle of this store.

"I love you too, but I got to go. Jackson needs help getting his Valentine's shit together for Ava. I'll talk to you later, princess." He tells me before we say our goodbyes and hang up.

I love how Josh is always there for Jackson. Those two didn't have the best life growing up, but Josh was always there for Jackson no matter what. Jackson is Josh's younger brother. Jackson is a senior in high school and Ava is his first serious girlfriend, so I know Jackson wants to make it special for her. Ava is a super sweet girl in Jackson's math class. He asked her for help on a problem that he already knew how to do just so he could talk to her. They started studying together and eventually, he asked her out. They are so cute together. I love it.

After a while of looking around, I finally got everything together and checked out at the store. I loaded it all into my car and headed back to my apartment building. I got off the elevator and passed the guys' apartments to get to mine which was right next to Colby's. I quickly ran into my apartment, in case Colby decided to walk out right then. I didn't want him to know it was me. I want to surprise him.

I pulled everything into my office and set the basket up, filling it with all of the little things I got him. Once I was happy with how it looked, I took a picture of it and sent it to Kat.

Y/n: Do you think he will like it?

Kat: Of course, he will y/n! You know he will love anything if it comes from you.

Y/n: I know, I guess I just feel bad because we aren't doing Valentine's together this year 😩

Kat: Yeah but this will really brighten his day. We both know he hates Valentine's Day.

Y/n: He does lol. What are you and Sam doing for Valentine's Day tomorrow?

Kat: Idk, he hasn't asked me to be his valentine yet 😠

Y/n: Really? Valentine's Day is tomorrow. He doesn't have much time left lol. Josh won't tell me what we're doing. He just said dress nicely. Should I wear my black or red dress?

Kat: THE BLACK ONE!!!!!!!! It looks so good on you. And if you wear red lipstick and your red heels with it too, I don't think Josh will be able to resist you.

Y/n: okay 😂 thanks girl!

Kat: you're welcome babe!

...

I walked into my office and grabbed the basket I made for Colby. I tiptoed to his door and sat the basket down. I rang the doorbell and dashed down the hall, so I could watch him open the door. I could see him, but he couldn't see me.

He opened the door and a smile spread across his face. He looked around outside his door and then looked around in the basket for any indication of who left it for him. He pulled out the card, but I didn't write anything in it because I knew he would be able to tell my handwriting. After seeing that there was nothing to give away who sent the secret Valentine's gift, he shrugged and picked up the basket, taking it inside.

I giggled lightly to myself and took the long way to my apartment, in case he was spying through his peephole. As soon as I walked in, I got a twitter notification. Colby had tweeted. It said, "to whoever left a basket of chocolates and teddy bears at my door.. i 🖤 u" A small smile crept its way into my face. I left Twitter and started to play music as I got ready for tonight.

After my hair was curled and makeup was done, I slipped into my black dress and put on my red heels like Kat suggested and let me tell you, she was damn right when she said I looked good in this. I couldn't stop looking at myself. I've never looked this good before. I can already imagine the things that Josh and I will be doing later.

A knock at my door broke me from my thoughts. I hurried to the door and opened it to reveal my handsome man with flowers in his hands.

"Awe Josh, you didn't have to do all this," I told him as he smiled widely.

"Yes, I did. Wanna know why?" He giggled.

"Why?" I question as he hands me the bouquet.

"Because I love you, princess, and there is more where that came from." He tells me as he takes my hand. "Now let's go put those in some water in a vase and then we can go to dinner." I do as he said, and we leave for dinner.

"Hey guys!" I hear and my eyes meet my best friend.

"Hey, Colbs!" I say as I run up to him to hug him. I haven't actually seen him in a few days. We've texted and stuff but that's it. We pulled away from our embrace and I stepped back, grabbing Josh's hand. Seeing Colby made me ten times happier if that was even possible.

"I know this is a weird question, but did you see anyone out here earlier today?" Colby asked me as he leaned against his doorframe. It looked like he was coming back home from somewhere. I couldn't help the sneaky smile that showed up on my face, but I shook my head.

"No, I've been in my place all day. Why? What's up?" I asked. Maybe that would help him not think it was me.

"Someone left something at my door earlier and I was wondering who it was, but I don't know," Colby informed us. By the look on his face, he appeared to be pretty confused.

"Sorry, I haven't seen anything," I tell him. I feel a tug at my hand and look up at Josh. He bends down slightly to reach my ear.

"I hate to break you two up, but we need to hurry." He whispers in my ear and I nod at him.

"Okay Colby, we have to head out, but I'll see you later, okay?" I tell him as I go in for another hug. He smiles and nods before waving at us. We head down the elevator, to the car, and then to the restaurant. When we arrived, we were set off in the back away from everyone else. It was beautiful back here. Little string lights illuminated the place with a soft glow. Nice music played lowly in the background and being here with Josh made it all the better.

We talked about many things as we ate. He told me about helping Jackson yesterday. We talked about old memories of when we first met and started dating. As we laughed, I felt a buzz comes from my phone. I pulled it out to see a text from Colby.

Colbs: it was you wasn't it?

Y/n: maybe 😉

"Who is it?" I looked up at Josh who was looking at me strangely. I could hear a tinge of jealousy in his voice. I don't know why I felt a sudden surge of guilt run through my body, but I felt like I was doing something wrong or that Josh thought I was doing something wrong.

"It's Colby. You know how he said someone left something at his door earlier?" I asked him and he nodded. I explained to him that I got Colby something for Valentine's Day and left it at his door because we weren't doing anything together this year like we always have.

After that awkward moment, we continued to eat and talk until Josh pulled out a cute gift bag and handed it to me.

"Happy Valentine's Day princess!" He said as he gave me the gift. I shot him a huge smile before going through the bag. It was filled with candies, stuffed animals, pictures of us from the last year together, and a card. I opened the card and began to read it out loud.

"Y/n, these past eleven months with you have been amazing and I can't wait to see what our future together holds. As you know, love hasn't been an easy thing for me to acquire, but you have shown me that I am capable of being loved and I can show that I love someone too. I love you princess and I will continue to love you for as long as I can. I want to love you for the rest of my life if you will let me. So, will you let me?" My brows furrowed over my teary eyes and I looked up to where Josh was sitting previously. But he wasn't there. He was beside me, on one knee, with a ring in his hand.

"Y/n, I love you so much so will you do me the honor of marrying me?" He asked me. My tear-filled eyes met his and I don't know why but I hesitated. What should have been an easy question became so hard. I love Josh with all my heart, but I don't know what's stopping me from saying yes. I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out.

"Princess?" Josh looked at me, worried. He was probably very sure I would say yes too. Damn it, y/n say yes. Just say it. It's not a hard word to say. You probably say it every day. Just say it.

"I- I don't know," I choke out. I regret it instantly when Josh's face falters. He looks so upset.

"It's not that I don't want to. I just don't think I'm ready for that yet baby. I love you. You know I do. It's just I don't think now is a good time." Josh gets up and sits in his seat.

"Are you sure that's the reason? There isn't anything else?" He questions me. What is he getting at?

"I don't know what you mean, J. What do you think it is?" I ask him, kind of pissed at him. Does he not believe that I'm not ready for that yet? That is a pretty big step to take with someone.

"Damn I'm an idiot. I should've seen what was right in front of me. Y/n, you're in love with Colby. I thought I was wrong, but I don't think I am." He confesses.

"I am not. I love you, Josh. I'm just not ready to get married. I'm 21. I don't want to get married now." Anger, sadness, and confusion swirled through my body. I'm not in love with Colby. I love him because he is my best friend but I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with the man sitting in front of me. Maybe I should've just said yes to save all this trouble.

"Y/n, I love you too but something's not right. You love both me and Colby, but something stopped you from saying yes to me. If you were really in love with me, we wouldn't be having a problem right now. I think you are in love with him, whether you see it or not." He seemed upset but I could tell he was speaking exactly what he felt.

"Can you take me home or should I call an Uber?" I say as I stare off through a window in the side of the room. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I want to be at home.

"I'll take you home if you want me to, princess." The nickname that used to make me feel like the best person in the world is now bringing more tears to my eyes. I just looked at him and nodded. We left the restaurant and got back into his car. The ride home was silent and thought-filled. I'm guessing that our relationship is over, but I don't want to lose Josh. I want him to stay in my life. We pull up to the outside of my apartment complex and Josh grabs my hand.

"I want you to know that I still love you princess and I will always be here for you." A few more tears slipped out as we shared one last kiss together. A kiss goodbye.

"I love you too," I whisper before opening the door and walking inside. Once I get on the elevator, the tears I had been holding back for so long came flowing out. I reach the fifth floor and the doors open, revealing my best friend.

"Y/n, what's wrong?" That question broke me, and I fell into his arms, crying. He held me as he pulled me out of the elevator.

"Let's go to my place, okay?" He asked and I nodded. Once we were in his apartment, we sat on his couch and I explained to him all that occurred tonight.

"He thinks you're in love with me?" Colby questioned.

"Yes," I answer quietly.

"What do you think?" He asks me and I look up at him.

"I don't think I'm ready to get married," I tell him.

"Yeah, but if you wanted to marry him, you could be engaged to him for however long you needed until you were ready to get married. I think he's right. You didn't want to marry him."

"You think I'm in love you too?" I ask him, sitting up straighter to get a better view of his answer.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping you are. Y/n, you are gorgeous, kind, funny, everything that a guy wants in a girl. And did you see the way you looked tonight? If you were mine and you came out looking like that, we wouldn't have made it to the restaurant. You are beautiful. How could I not want you?" His honesty took me by surprise. I never knew he felt this way.

"Maybe you and Josh are right," I whisper without thinking and Colby's eyes light up.

"Maybe stupid Cupid shot his arrow at the wrong people?" I chuckled at his response but nonetheless agreed.

"Maybe"

#colby #Sam and Colby #colby brock #cute colby #colby brock imagine #colby brock x reader #fanfic #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fanfiction #cute colby brock #cole robert brock #y/n #katrina stuart #sam golbach #TRAPHOUSE #xplr

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i-will-be-forever-yours · 5 years ago

Text

Trust Issues

A/N This is my first writing...that has actually been posted so it might be pretty rough. anyway... feedback is welcome! thanks for reading

Warning: Angst, some language...umm idk what else

Summary: Shawn and Y/n have been married for a year and a half and he seems to be drifting. Will trust put this marriage at risk?

Word Count: 1.8k

posted 11-18-19

Don’t know who made this gif but if u did hmu so I can give you credit

Y/n breathed a sigh of relief when she walked into their two-story condo. The paparazzi decided that they would not leave her alone since the news of her marriage to Shawn Mendes, even eighteen months after the fact. For them it was like being a kid in a candy shop.

They had dated for just over two years when she found herself in front of a kneeling Shawn, velvet box in one hand. She was happy, to say the least, and let the tears flow as she nodded, being at a loss for words. However, prior to dating they had been friends since they were both young, and they couldn’t be happier. Their wedding was a romantic day one with only close friends and family. It was a special day, filled with laughter and tears of joy shared between the couple.

However, at just a year and six months of marriage, it was already hard. Of course, the first year was pure bliss, and they were very much newlyweds. However recently Shawn had been more distant and Y/n didn’t like it. For the better part of the last five years, they had been inseparable, but he seems to be drifting. Longer nights at the studio, early morning at the gym. Even when he was home, his mind wasn’t, and a part of Y/n felt like they were falling. She wasn’t sure where they were falling. Whether it be out of love, or falling deeper into confusion, she had no idea, but she knew that something needed to change.

Shawn was getting ready to go on tour again, but that was nothing new. They had been through a couple of his tours while they were friends and even while dating. However, something seemed off with this upcoming one.

Y/n tried to brush off the uneasy feeling that settled in her stomach when she thought of her husband, but it just wouldn’t go away. To take her mind off things she decided to scroll through her twitter feed. The first thing to pop up was a picture of her husband and Camila, with the caption saying “Shawn’s new lover?”. She knew not to believe rumors and tabloids and had even grown accustomed to these stories. However, with Shawn’s recent behavior, she wasn’t so sure. Her mind told her to just stop but nevertheless, she clicked on the link that was provided.

She didn’t expect to find a picture of her husband’s face nuzzling into the neck of Camila, while she laughed and smiled. There were a handful of pictures of the two holding hands and laughing. It reminded her of when they first started dating. Young and in love, only having eyes for each other.

Pain and numbness spread throughout her chest at the thought that her husband no longer loved her. These thoughts were interrupted however by the sudden urge to throw up.

Jumping off the bed, she made a quick dash to the connected bathroom. She emptied the contents of her stomach and sat there on the bathroom floor. Her breathing was ragged and she kept dry heaving into the toilet, while trying to suppress the urge to cry.

She looked like a mess, with her hair in disarray and makeup running down her face from her shed tears. Her brain couldn’t form coherent thoughts, and she felt the sudden desire to sleep for hours. However, she picked herself off the floor to examine herself in the mirror. Wiping off the makeup and putting her hair in a messy bun she decided to get back on her phone. They had plans to go to dinner tonight, so y/n decided to call Shawn.

However, before the second ring, the call was denied. Deciding then to text him, she texted, “Hey honey, are we still on for dinner?” As she waited for his response she decided to check her calendar for her upcoming appointments and plans. While looking through it she realized something was missing. She had not had her period in two months, almost three.

She sat there on her bed in a nervous panic. What if she were pregnant? She hadn’t had sex with Shawn recently due to his busy schedule at that time, but based on the last time they had it would make sense. They were always so careful. This couldn’t be happening. Maybe it was just her body being irregular like it sometimes tended to be. The logical part of her brain denied these excuses though, because that’s what they were, excuses.

She immediately put on some shoes and a hoodie and drove to the nearest drugstore to pick up some tests. She was lucky to make the trip there and back without anyone snapping any pictures. The downside to having a famous husband was the unwanted pictures, but she loved him, so she made it work.

Once back safely inside the master bathroom, she undid all three tests and took them. She waited the time and when her phone alarm went off she froze. What if she were pregnant and Shawn didn’t love her anymore?

No time to think about that. She had to be positive, maybe this was the jumpstart her marriage needed. Taking a deep breath she grabbed the tests. They all read POSITIVE. She sat there for nearly five minutes before the waterworks started. Tears were streaming down her face, but there were so many emotions going on. She was ecstatic, scared, and angry. Ecstatic because she already felt so much love for this baby, but also scared to be a mom. However, she was angry at Shawn, angry that he didn’t reply and angry that he wasn’t here to share her joy.

She moved back to their room and hid the tests in the closet in some old shoes. As she made it back into her room she saw a message from Shawn saying, “sorry love, can I cancel tonight? I’m just really busy here at the studio.”

She let out a sigh because she was hoping to talk to Shawn over dinner. It seems she’ll just be eating alone again as she has for the past couple weeks.

Y/n is lying in bed when she hears the slam of the door. Looking at the clock she read that it’s midnight. She waits until she hears the heavy footsteps of her husband before she decides to get up. However just as she’s about to she hears his hushed voice saying “No i don’t know how i will tell her. Well, she will just have to deal with it. I know, it’s just that she is so fucking clingy sometimes, always calling or asking to go to dinner or do this and that.” ... “yeah i will, okay goodnight.”

She decides to pretend to be asleep when he walks in. Usually Shawn takes care not to make noise, but tonight he is taking no care to be quiet. She can hear him move about the room until he finally goes into the connected bathroom to shower. Not until the water turns on does she let out her emotions. Tears yet again stream down her face as she thinks about what her husband was saying about her. In her misery, she doesn’t even hear the water turn off nor does she hear as Shawn comes back into the room until she hears his soft voice.

“Y/n, what’s wrong love? Why are you crying?” he asks while reaching out for her.

She turns around to see the concerned eyes of her husband. She almost gives in until she remembers the pictures and his earlier conversation. Instead she looks away and answers “I am fine Shawn, just go to bed.”

“No, tell me what’s the matter! Why are you crying y/n?”

She looks up at him and bluntly asks, “Do you still love me?”

He is a little taken back by her question but is quick to reassure her. “Of course I do, why are you asking?”

She has to scoff at this. “What do you expect me to believe when I see pictures of you and Camila laughing and looking in love? And that conversation earlier? hmm...I think your exact words were she’s so fucking clingy!” she spit out at him.

His confusion quickly slips into anger. “What do you mean “looking in love”? I kissed her cheek, y/n! That’s is! You should know how close we are by now and yes I said you were clingy because sometimes I just need some alone time...ever think about that huh! I thought relationships were supposed to be built on trust. I guess you don’t trust me. Is that what I’m hearing?” He yells.

Y/n is now backed up to the headboard is fear and shock. Not once in their years together has he blown up on her like this. Her hands immediately reach for her stomach, even though she isn’t showing. It is almost a comfort, even just finding out. A way to protect the unborn being that rest within her, relying on her to keep them safe.

“I don’t know what to believe! You don’t talk to me anymore! I love you, Shawn, please just talk to me.” She sobs in a defeated voice.

However, his anger just seems to build. “I need to get away from you sometimes! You never give me a break, and you always want to talk or cuddle or whatever shit it is.”

She is crying now and just wants this nightmare to be over. However, it has reached its climax. “Get the fuck out of my face y/n. I cannot handle this anymore. Just go stay somewhere else.”

In a state of shock, she sits there. Until she makes eye contact with Shawn and that’s when she knows he means it. She rushes out the door with her car keys in hand. Once she is driving away she finally breaks once again. With a hand on her still flat stomach, she drives. She has nowhere to go because all her family and friends are in the states. They had moved to Canada to be close to his side of the family and his hometown.

However, being distracted while driving is not good. Especially when she’s been on the road for over an hour and emotionally exhausted. She looks down to see a message from Shawn saying “sorry love, please come back home...we can talk when you get back” As she is reading this she doesn’t see the car that ran a red light and barrels into her car, causing her car to roll multiple times before coming to a halt when it came into contact it a pole..

All she can hear is the sound of her phone ringing with the picture of Shawn filling her screen. She soon hears sirens before she slips into the comfort of darkness that is pulling her deeper into the abyss.

#shawn mendes #shawn x reader #shawn mendes x y/n #shawn mendes imagine #reader insert

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malyen0retsev · 6 years ago

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A massive text of ‘Thank you’ amongst all of this MESS

I’ve spent the last six years on Tumblr, in this fandom, and I’m as heartbroken as everyone else that this is the way we all have to say goodbye to it. I never in my wildest nightmares thought that this would be the ending, or that we would all be in mourning/despair in this way. And sure, a part of me regrets getting so invested because of how it’s all gone down - but the much larger part of me doesn’t.

I am grateful, every damn day, to the people on here who’ve become my friends over the last few years. Who’ve been wonderful to be around when we’re all celebrating together, and have been such a massive support the last couple of weeks when everything feels like it’s crashing down. I can’t regret the last six years, because I will never ever regret befriending you guys. And so, without further ado, this is a post to say ‘thank you’ to all of you who’ve made this worth it, and who I love and am always grateful for:

@geekychemist - My first proper friend on here, who I’ve communicated with via shitposts for about four years. For always being one of the first people I message, for being someone I’ve had numerous stupid FaceTimes with, for sending me a fat ass book from the US because I couldn’t get hold of it in the UK. For making me go from hating Petyr Baelish to respecting him, and for being a Gendrya stan with me from day one. I love you girl.

@gendrywatersseaworth - MY G! I LOVE YOU! My ultimate Gendry/Gendrya defence squad RIDE OR DIE (who sends Christmas cards with the SWEETEST messages). For being someone I Skype for ‘10 minutes’ which turns into 2 and a half fucking hours. For giving TMI on the daily, and we take the piss out of it also on the daily. For being the person I run to yelling about every positive, negative, or downright stupid thing I encounter online, and we then destroy with a fuck ton of ‘OH MY FUCKING JESUS WEPT’

@aethelfled - The first person on here to go from ‘online friend’ to IRL friend; who would’ve guessed chatting about Arya and Gendry on here would turn into hanging out irl in Melbourne? Those four days in Melbourne with you were four of the best days of my year down in the Southern Hemisphere, and idk if you fully know how grateful I was for them. You’re one of the most passionate and strongest people I know, and your love for Arya is the ONE.

@villan3lle - One of the sweetest people on here, someone who’s always down to shout about OUR SQUID SON, and also sends adorable Christmas cards. Every time I see frogs I think of you, and that’s a damn good trait to have tbh! You’re such a supportive, wonderful, kind human, and your salty takes are always ones I bloody love reading. No matter how many times I turn up on Twitter or Tumblr essentially screaming at you, you’re always like ‘YEP GO OFF’ and I love you for it.

@gendrie - AKA probably THE MOST CYNICAL PERSON I KNOW I’m here for it and I love it. Always think of how we became friends back before S7 aired and we were piecing together all the screencaps and interviews like ‘WAIT IS THAT GENDRY IS HE COMING BACK’. Your love for Arya is bloody fab, and you’re one of the most talented people I know with your fics.

@insomniarama - Honest to god, idk anyone else who makes so ON POINT meme reaction posts; I’m thinking specifically of the bloody catspaw dagger with the Mickey Mouse screencap of ‘These are useful tools which will help us later’ SCREAMING. Always down for hearing your takes bc you reblog and post SUCH GOOD TAKES amongst the chaotic memes. Also, you listen to my general screaming, which is always a plus tbh.

@ariannenymerosmartell - Your slamming down of anons being ridiculous amuses the hell out of me, and also I have never come across anyone who so unfailingly defends and loves Petyr Baelish, and manages it in such a way that convinces ME it’s great. And your loathing of D&D is hilarious, your raging at them for the Dorne plotline specifically, your salty takes are always the bloody one.

@imjustasmith - Yelling about Joe and Gendry, does that summarise it basically?? We’re cynical but also cynical clowns, and we go into this void together. I love how much you love Gendry, and although he was ma boy already, you’ve definitely grown that love, bc you don’t realise how much you love a character till you scream about it with other people tbh.

@mhysaofdragons - The way you love and defend Dany is inspiring, and you’ve always done it from a totally rational standpoint, not just with stan goggles on. Also you’re a teacher with green hair, so I obvs have to respect that. Even amongst the mess that’s gone down, you’ve unfailingly spread love around for this character, and you’re one of the main people on here who changed me from going to ‘I like Dany’ to ‘I love Dany’ and I thank you so much for that.

@jonerys - Honestly, the same as above to an extent - you’ve been so important to me with making me love Dany so much, and I’m also grateful for the mass-screaming we’ve had via messenger about the show. Your love for Dany is extraordinary, and I love that you’re not ashamed of how fiercely you love this character and how much she’s impacted you as a person.

@elizabthturner - Mate I had the BEST TIME trawling through Reddit with you, and hell, we came up with an episode summary THAT REALLY WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN THE WAY THAT SHITSHOW TURNED OUT. I love shouting about Jaime with you, and the last week of us just crashing ours heads against the wall trying to make sense out of this disaster - and I also love how though we stan different ships and different characters, we’ve never once let that become a toxic thing IN A FANDOM WHICH OFTEN VERY MUCH LETS IT BECOME A TOXIC THING.

HONOURABLE SHOUTOUTS TO @josephdempsie @freedvictors @madaboutasoiaf @jrrtolkiens @lizstargaryen @rabbitbaratheon @bethgreenesgf @gendryastarkers @fosterjane @fvrestlass @game-of-clowns @aryaofhousesnark @thorodinsvn - You are all people I’ve spoken to, not in depth, but enough times over these few years to deserve to be mentioned; because frankly, my dash and my experience on here would not be the same without you all on it. So thank you. Thank you for talking with me, for adding light and positivity from many different fandoms to my dash, and just being all round stars who I love seeing updates from, and I’m always glad to know you’re doing OK.

YEP THIS IS A LONG ASS POST. I DON’T APOLOGISE FOR IT. This fandom is hurting a lot right now, justifiably so, and many of us are questioning if we would be happier if we’d never got involved in it. But I don’t regret it, because my life would be a hell of a lot emptier without you all in it. So thank you. Thank you for being the reasons I’ve stuck around on here for so long, the reasons we’ve got through the last couple of weeks, and the reasons why at the end of the day, all of this mess has been worth it. <3

#you all are fab and i love you #and that's that basically #<3 #sarah rambles

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baromaiden · 5 years ago

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A Day Too Late

Jungkook is a shy 18 year old who has a major crush on his childhood friend and classmate Kim Namjoon. Because of a series of unfortunate events the two aren't close anymore. However the possibility of change is presented by Namjoon who invites the shy boy to his birthday party. Maybe this could be a new beginning for both of them or so they thought.

Where Jungkook and Namjoon finally come to terms with their feelings but are a little too late.

*note*

Hello this is my first fanfiction in awhile lol so I hope people enjoy it. Sorry if it's kind of stiff I'm trying to get back in the swing of things 💞 It can also be found on Ao3 aswell! -> baromaiden or follow it on Twitter @charmycho

Chapter 1

Breaking News:

“The small lake town of Paradise morns the lost of a young man tonight. Eighteen-year-old Jeon Jungkook was found dead by the edge of Whalien Lake caused by a fall which result in a head injury that killed him with in minutes of impact. Authorities don’t know why the young man was so close to the cliffs side, but they have determined it to be an accident.”

Two Days Earlier

Jungkook woke up from his bed with a jolt as if his body was jump started, heart beating fast and breathing unsteady. He held his hand to his chest as if to calm himself down from the nightmare he just escaped from. As the fuzzy images start to fade from his memory, he catches his breath slowly.

“That seemed a little to real.” He sighed as ran his hands through hair. His dreams are never this vivid or intense, so it caught him off guard with the wind rushing passed him as he fell into colors of blues and greens.

Jungkook slowly gets up and moves around his room to shake the rest of the dream off making sure to grab his phone in the process. Thus, his usual day begins, checking his notifications as he picks out his cloths for the day. He reads over his usual texts from his best friend Taehyung but that’s not what catches his attention.

September 10th D-2

Jungkook smiles softly at the little reminder that he long forgotten to delete. Old memories play at the front of his mind, days of bike rides, ice-cream eating contest, and wizard fights but before he falls to deep into nostalgia he is interrupted by his little brother.

“Hyung, mom says hurry down before you’re late.” Taehyun mumbles as he rubs his sleepy eyes. Jungkook rolls his eyes as he chuckles softly.

“You’re telling me and yet you’re just waking up too.” Taehyun sighed as his older brother proceed to mess up his already bed head.

“Yah, I’m actually sick so I won’t be late to anything.”

“Is it your stomach again?”

“Yeah its like I’m allergic to everything.” He sighs as he leaves Jungkook in his room to get ready. Being the predictable boy, he was, he dressed himself in a long black t with jeans and his black adidas, complimented with his black hood. He eyed himself in his mirror and nodded at his appearance.

“Jungkook” his mom called as he makes his way into the kitchen. “Hurry up and eat so you can go.”

“Nah I’m good.” He mumbles as he reaches across the spread his mom makes for a packet of pop tarts.

“But I cooked all this for us.” She pouts as she sees her oldest son shove a pop tart in his mouth. He dips he head apologetically and kisses her cheek leaving crumbs.

“Got to go got to meet Tae.” He yells as he dashes through the front door. As he makes his way to his bike, he already sees his best friend Kim Taehyung on his own bike waiting for him. Taehyung has been his best friend since the end of freshman year when I tried out for the swim team. He taken as much good care of Jungkook as equal trouble he’s gotten him in. Though he is mischievous sometimes he’s a good dependable friend.

“Kook, Kookie, the kookanator. What’s happening?” greeted Taehyung as he put his phone away.

“Nothing much as usual.” He said as he shrugged.

“We need to work on that. We haven’t had anything eventful happen to us in a while. Even swim team is starting to get repetitive. “sighed the brown hair boy as he began to peddle his bike with hands in his pocket.

The two boys made it with sometime before the bell ringed, making their way to their lockers next to each other. As they were having small talk and getting what they need to get Jungkook got distracted from loud laughing down the hallway. The culprits happen to be Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, and last but defiantly not least… Kim Namjoon. Jungkook couldn’t seem to look away from the tall dimpled boy. He was sporting his usual blond hair, dressed casually in a white t, blue jeans, and red converse, his signature look. Namjoon laughed carefree with his friends dimples on full display taunting Jungkook mercilessly.

“Kook, stop staring like an idiot and go talk to him for Christ sake.”

“Talk to who?”

“Kim Namjoon, the guy you are so in love with.” Taehyung grunts a little too loudly.

“Hey, I’m not in love with him.”

“Uh yeah you could have fooled me. When are you going to man up and talk to him? You guys are childhood friends, right?”

“Y-yeah but we haven’t spoken to each other in three years.”

“More like he would say one thing to you then you get all poo brain on him and he retreats from the awkward tension. What happened between you two?”

Jungkook glanced back at Namjoon as memories push forward of their freshmen year and how life got in the way of a lot of things back then.

“Life, I guess.” He shrugged. That answer didn’t satisfy Tae not one bit, but he couldn’t voice his disapproval when they were greeted by the dimpled devil himself.

“Hey Jungkook, Taehyung.” Namjoon greeted with his timid smile. Jungkook quickly shuffled around to properly see the boy.

“H-hey Namjoon” stuttered the shy boy. Taehyung grinned wider at his friend’s nervousness. Namjoon nodded in his direction as he reached for a piece of paper in his pocket.

“I came over to ask you a question, do you remember what’s coming up this week by chance?” Jungkook tilted his head in confusion as he eyed both his friend and the older boy.

“This week?”

“Yeah.” Namjoon said meekly.

See Jungkook knows the answer to this simple question but his nerves aren’t helping with his brain function right now. He knows the very important day that happens every year, he’s memorized it six years ago but unfortunately, he can’t at this very moment. Namjoon pulls out the paper and holds it in front of Jungkook’s face.

“I know this is last minute but here is an invite to my birthday party this Friday or should I say tomorrow.”

Jungkook wanted to kick himself right now. He knew it was his birthday but why didn’t he remember in that very second. He reached for the flyer and read the bright colored lettering.

“Why are you having a party on the 11th if your birthday is the 12th?” Asked curiously.

“So, you did remember?”

Namjoon smiled softly as he cleared his throat.

“Well my parents are out of town till Saturday afternoon so Hobi and Jimin convinced me to throw a party before they come back.”

“You let those two wild party animals you call friends convince you to have a house party?” exclaimed Taehyung as he looked over to the rowdy pair as they had a dance battle in the middle of the school hallway.

“Yeah well I turn 18 so it’s kind of a big deal you know. So… Jungkook would come?”

Jungkook froze dare I say Jung shook as he eyes Namjoon curiously. Jungkook isn’t sure it’s a good idea. Namjoon is popular and there would be a lot of people there. He wasn’t sure it would well. What if Namjoon is only inviting him out of pity? As if seeing the wheels turning in his head Taehyung nudges Jungkook in the shoulder.

“We will be there.” Said Taehyung with that mischievous smile of his.

“Cool.” Nodded Namjoon as back away. “Remember 8pm sharp.”

As Namjoon made his way back to his friends, Jungkook elbowed Tae.

“Why did you do that?” exclaimed Jungkook big doe eye wide open.

“Cause I’m so tired of your pining, Jesus try an actually work some moves on Kim at his party please. Its starting to get sad. Plus, Jung Hoseok will be there, and you know he’s been trying to hit me up since saw me sporting that speedo last week at our swim meet.” Jungkook rolled his eyes so hard.

“Are you helping me or yourself.”

“Both of us?” laughed the brown-haired boy.

The school day dragged on as Jungkook was in deep thought, paying very little attention to classes. His hand, pen in hand moved across the sheets of his sacred notebook. He dumps all his thoughts, hopes, and reams in here. Pages made up of poems, lyrics and list. And if you already guess the subject for most of his writings is none other then Kim Namjoon himself.

But you

That smile is so cruel

Cruel

I shouldn’t have seen that cheek

You

What’s really dangerous

Is only in possession

That dimple is illegal

Maybe Taehyung was right. Well he is right. Jungkook is in love with Namjoon but of course the quite shy boy won’t ever tell him his feelings to scared of how the older male would react. Reject him. Probably. Laugh in his face? Most likely. The two aren’t close anymore. That all changed once high school started and Namjoon fell into the cool crowd while Jungkook hung out with the art kids. However, that wasn’t the only thing that put distance in between the two friends.

Jungkook shuffled through the pages of his notebook to pull a small polaroid of him and Namjoon at Whalien lake. The two sits next to each other smiling with kites that they made together that summer of 7th grade. That’s one of the last photos that they had together.

The bell sounded interrupting his thought singling the school is over. Kook looks at the photo one more time before shoving it in his hoodie pocket with the invitation. The student all moves towards the front of the school to exit the building. Swiftly Jungkook moves through the crowd to head to his bike outside. Popping his headphones in then hops on and heads home.

He continues to be lost in thoughts of Namjoon and what they were finding that summer day by the lake playing over and over in his head. Jungkook slows his bike down and turns to his right staring at the woodsy area that leads to the lake. He ponders for a second before heading towards the clearing. Slowly he makes his way down off the path to the beach retracing steps he took as a kid till he got to his favorite spot, the high cliffs of Whalien lake. He laid his bike down as he climb the short path of rocks till, he gets to the top of the flat ridge just above the beach of the lake. See Jungkook and Namjoon found this place years ago by accident as they were exploring from the public beach on the far right.

“Ugh, it feels good to be back here.” Smiled Jungkook as he sat in the middle of rock.

He pulled out his notebook opening the book to a new page. Carefully he pulled out his pencil case grabbing the roll of tape he kept in there. Jungkook pulled out the invitation and the photo from earlier.

“Wow. Who knew you would talk to me again? Even after everything that happened.”

Jungkook was filled with excited thoughts as he taped the invite into his book. What if he did want him at his birthday party? Maybe he wanted to be friends again? Or maybe he was just being nice? However, Jungkook was to ecstatic to care. This could be a new beginning from them to burry that hatchet and move on. Maybe even the chance Jungkook need to tell the dimpled boy how he really feels about him? Could he really do that? Confess? That was something out of his comfort zone but right now he feels like he might be able to tell him. Tell him that he loves him dearly even after everything that happened.

Jungkook sighed in content as he looked at the lake daydreaming about his crush.

Soon it starts to get dark in his little corner of the world, so he decides to start packing up and heading home. Notebook in hand Jungkook gets up to head down where he came from till something caught his eye. He turned around and saw the small polaroid that he cherishes so much getting picked up by the wind. Jungkook lunges for it right as the its being flown away over the edge of the cliff.

“Got cha.” Exclaimed Jungkook happily... unaware of his surrounds. His knee in front lands just beyond the cliff’s ledge.

Jungkook tries to catch himself but both his hands full one with the photo the other with his notebook, his efforts are in vain…

He falls.

Thank You for reading 💜

#bts #bangtan #baromaiden #bts jimin #bts jhope #bts jin #bts jungkook #bts v #bts namjoon #namkook #bts yoongi #bts vhope #bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bts au #bts au fanfic

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pengiesama · 6 years ago

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Bibliotheca Cordis (Fic, Gen)

Title: Bibliotheca Cordis Series: Tales of Zestiria Pairing: Gen Characters: Michael, Maotelus

Summary: Maotelus shows Michael his collection of banned books, and in the progress, winds up provoking him into a years-long project to create a comprehensive atlas of the world.

(You know how writers get.)

Link: AO3

This was my entry for day one of the TOZ 4th Anniversary project, at @tozanniversary! Day three's prompt was “History is the architecture of our hearts”.

Check out the other fic and art entries here:

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Read on Tumblr!

When Maotelus offered to show him the hoard of secret treasure he’d amassed over the centuries, Michael didn’t really know what to expect. He’d only known the seraph for a little while, and it was somewhat difficult to imagine him seated atop a pile of gold coins and glimmering jewels. It seemed like a very boring way to pass the time, and a poor use of a hypothetical secret treasure room inside an ancient labyrinth. Still – even if Michael wasn’t sure what awaited him, the price of admission was a bag of curry buns, and that seemed like a bargain.

They wound through the darkened and befuddling halls of the Shrinechurch Labyrinth, Maotelus leading the way in a smaller version of his dragon form – barely larger than a housecat, and glowing bright in the dark of the maze. They came to a stop at a dead end. Maotelus breathed deep, and exhaled silver flame against the wall in front of him. The unassuming stone briefly blazed alight with his holy crest, then faded just as quickly – and revealed a door in its place. The heavy stone door groaned as it opened, and Michael just about died on the spot at the sight of the priceless treasures within.

Books. Books by the hundreds, maybe thousands. Rare books – books that had been banned by the church for spreading heresy – books that were thought lost to the ages.

“The Shrinechurch goes into fits every few decades over some new book or another,” Maotelus explained as Michael stumbled through the rows of shelves, as if he was a saint reeling under the weight of a recent revelation, or a man drunk. “They implement a ban, confiscate copies, and bring them here to offer up to me to burn.”

Michael managed to muster up enough presence of mind to process the ridiculousness of that statement. “To you? They expect you to burn them?”

“I know, right?” Maotelus shook his head incredulously. “I mean, it’s worked out for me, I guess, but I’m not sure who put that idea in their heads. Though I suppose I have my suspicions. I’ve made friends with some people over the years who are very passionate about keeping history recorded.”

Michael had a pair of cloth gloves he used when handling delicate artifacts. He tugged them on with shaking hands, and carefully, reverently picked out a book to start with. A book of fairy tales, written in Ancient Avarost. Michael would have cut off his right leg to get his hands on something like this, and he’d gotten it for the low price of ten gald and a bag of buns.

“My collection only goes back so far,” Maotelus said as Michael carefully turned the book’s brittle pages. “It wasn’t until King Claudin that use of the printing press was able to spread into secular spheres. He was a big crusader for mass literacy. Even if subsequent leadership differed in opinion from him, the technique was so widespread that banning it did squat.”

“Once the horse has bolted, locking the gate won’t do much,” Michael agreed. “Stupid of them to try. Printing – literacy – these books…it’s all much too important to keep from the world.”

“Well, I agree,” Maotelus said. “But did you know one of their concerns involved preserving art and architecture?”

Ancient architecture was just about the only thing that could break Michael’s concentration right now. He looked up from the page he was reading – a page with an illustration of an eight-necked beast about to swallow the continent. Maotelus gave a toothy grin, and sat back on his haunches to unwrap a bun with his clawed hands.

“I knew that’d get your attention. Before literacy was more widespread, art and architecture were the best way to communicate ideas and preserve history. You probably already knew that. But then the printing press came along…and suddenly, there’s no need for building grand cathedrals to house those stained-glass triptychs telling the stories of ancient Shepherds. You can just print out pamphlets and picture books to spread the good word. Maintaining older temples and such becomes less important. Better things to spend money on, anyway, no? And so you wind up with crumbling ruins dotting the continent; any history they have to tell long decayed and forgotten. There were other forces at play, of course. But it’s partially a consequence of these books on my shelves.”

Maotelus finished his bun, and dug around in the bag for another. Michael’s face was devoid of color. His heart felt as heavy as lead.

“Architecture can last longer than any human lifespan. Much longer than books, even; I’ve definitely lost some of my originals to basic decay, and only have copies that I wrote out myself. But it can only be lasting if there’s interest in making it last. Otherwise, it’s all just dust and stone.”

“…it shouldn’t have to be that way.”

Maotelus stopped mid-bite, blinking over the bun in his mouth.

“It shouldn’t have to be one or the other. That’s just – nonsense,” Michael spat. He clutched the book to his chest, tightly. “They don’t care about it because they don’t know about it and that’s what books are supposed to do. They make people know. They can make more people know than ever – they can spread across the entire world. They can make people on other continents hear the way the bells sound in Lastonbell, or dream about the rainbow spray off Ladylake’s water wheels when the sun hits them just right, or…or—”

“Taste a bun fresh from the Pendrago street market?” Maotelus offered, then offered one. “It sounds like I touched a nerve.”

“You might have,” Michael agreed. The bun was warm in his hand; stuffed heavy with filling. “Is there…is there anything like that? In your collection?”

“No, not really. Certainly not anything comprehensive. It’s a dangerous world out there, and people don’t get up to much travelling anymore. More importantly, most of them have bigger things to worry about than reading dry history books.”

Michael felt his hackles raise at the word. “Dry? What’s dry about it?”

Maotelus gave him a Look. “Don’t shoot the messenger. Who’s standing in whose library, now?”

There was no stopping Michael when he had a goal in mind. He crammed the bun into his mouth all at once, and leapt to his feet. He slowed down just enough to carefully slide the book he’d borrowed back into its place on the shelf, then resumed his mad dash to the small, Maotelus-sized desk at the corner of the room. The chair was too small for him, but there was no time for such trivial setbacks when inspiration had struck.

Maotelus watched as Michael dumped out the contents of his pack onto his desk, and slowly chewed.

“…you making yourself comfortable?”

“No, it’s very uncomfortable,” Michael replied, his words muffled by half-chewed curry bun. He found his ink and writing stick, and his journal full of travel notes. “Can you get me a real chair? And some more paper.”

Maotelus weighed the bag of buns in his claw, considering. He then eyed the empty spots on his shelves. A chair, and some paper, and surrendering his desk for an evening or three. And in return, a book that was sure to be the prize of his collection. It seemed like a bargain.

“Fine,” Maotelus said. He waddled off towards the door, and called over his shoulder: “I want a signed copy, though. When you’re done.”

#tales of zestiria #tales of zestiria the x #a tenderly crafted fanfiction #tozanniversary

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fair-fae · 6 years ago

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As much as I don’t want to bring this up again (though the drama is still going strong on Twitter, so still relevant enough, I guess)... As tempting as it is to point all the fingers at Oz and blame them for everything that happened, to make them the one and only big bad guy, take a step back and look at how the community failed Oz’s victims, and how you and the people around you may have contributed to that.

Oz alone didn’t terrify anyone into submission, hiding, and harm. Oz alone did not alienate anyone and make them feel unwelcome in the community as a whole. Oz alone did not flood anyone’s inbox with hatemail, death threats, and nasty anons. Oz alone did not spread lies and rumors about people through the community and give them traction. Oz was the catalyst, but it was their friends and the community who did the real dirty work in so many cases. When the secrets blogs started to get bombarded with demands for “evidence” about the “The Crusader” and their misdeeds, all I and I’m sure many more of their victims could do was laugh. A lot of the evidence was public. Painfully public, in front of everyone’s eyes, and so many people didn’t care. It was not secret, it was not hidden, it was just ignored, or even lauded on as some form of righteous justice. I wonder how many people now acting outraged and disgusted with Oz aided in the harassment of Oz’s victims and believed the lies about them? How many of you reblogged callouts and gossiped with friends, blocked and avoided people, denied them from your FC’s and linkshells, even sent them nasty anons or treated them rudely when you encountered them? How many of you had your own beef with a victim, and used the claims Oz had created to harass them, even perhaps knowing they were untrue? How many of you already hated a victim and were just so bent on having them burned at the stake in the community that you were eager to jump onto the crusade bandwagon Oz had created against them despite it being total bullshit? You may think this makes you a victim as well, that you were misled and deceived. And perhaps that’s true in a way. But you’re adults with your own decisions and agency over your own actions. You hurt people, be it with your own malice, or carelessness, or misplaced, zealot-like sense of justice. The venom of Oz’s crusades, the lengths they went to for “justice,” the lack of proof, the wild and baseless claims, they were right in front of you. You chose not to see. That’s on no one but you. You’re more perpetrator than victim. I hope you will be more considerate and careful of your actions in the future. I’ve had several people people apologize to me, some anonymously and some not, and I appreciate it and hope Oz’s other victims have been receiving similar apologies from those who believed the lies about them and wronged them. But the community as a whole needs to examine our own behavior and not fall into the same mistakes, not enable and encourage another abuser. When you see a “callout post,” look for evidence. See if the evidence matches the claims, or if they seem to be exaggerated or taken out of context. Look at the tone of the post and if it seems rational and reasonable, or if it’s laden with personal insults, hyped up SJW buzzwords, and unnecessary jabs at the person. Think about what you know of the accused’s behavior and personality and if it seems to match up. Ask yourself what the OP could have to gain for making these claims about this person and how trustworthy you believe them to be. Ask yourself if the alleged behavior is something you deem concerning and relevant or not (i.e. I’ve seen a lot of people “called out” for RL relationship drama which is not something we can know or that I care to boost on my FFXIV blog; you, of course, are welcome to feel differently on that matter). Keep in mind that even if there is “evidence,” anything can be faked. Conversations and quotes can be taken out of context, cropped, and cherry-picked. The /echo function can be used to fake in game conversations. Screenshots and photos can be photoshopped. Copy/pasted logs can be edited or fabricated entirely. Editing web pages can be used (no, that’s not even getting into “hacking”--a longshot, but I guess also always a possibility) to alter any web page or conversation there upon. Fake accounts can be made using the same handle or similar handles and matching icons to impersonate another person. Use your own brain. Be a grown ass adult with your own thoughts who makes your own decisions. Find the careful balance to protect yourself/your friends/your FC yet not potentially contribute to the slander and alienation of an innocent person. Don’t gossip. Don’t spread the rumors. Give the accused a chance if the claims against them seem shaky and you can find it within yourself without jeopardizing your own stability and safety. Think twice before you leave a comment, like, or reblog on vague posts and look into things a little bit. A post that says “Kill all Nazis” may seem innocuous enough and worthy of a “like.” But then, maybe it’s not when you scroll down the OP’s blog a little and see the post was directly following them making an entirely false accusation about someone else being a Nazi. Maybe someone’s “like this to piss off a homophobe” post was made directly after someone politely asked them to tag their risque posts (that happened to feature a same sex couple) and now the person who didn’t want to see psuedo-porn on their dash is getting bombarded with anons calling them a homophobe. I’m not pulling these out of my ass btw; these are real examples I’ve seen. What might seem like a generic “bad thing is bad” post becomes something else when someone has just been wrongfully accused of that “bad thing.” Instead, it’s a tactic of intimidation and alienation. The OP is making this post knowing that well-meaning people are going to like it, and their the victim will see the notes and think “all these people believe that about me, all these people hate me.” Don’t fall into their trap, don’t become an accessory in their harassment. And, for the love of god, don’t believe you read.

#ooc #discourse #oz #legendofkungjew #long post #this isn't just an oz issue btw #if that wasn't obvious #there was no excuse I got more tired of hearing as an fc leader than 'WELL SO AND SO TOLD ME THAT BLAHBLAHBLAH'#'SO I BELIEVED IT AND DID A SHITTY THING BUT IT'S SO AND SO'S FAULT FOR TELLING ME THAT'#no honeychild #that's still on you

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pizzadragons · 2 years ago

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ok i saw other posts like this on my dash already but i'd like to rephrase them to make them a litte more uh, constructive.

anyway, if you're new here (welcome!) then you might have seen some posts telling you to reblog original works instead of simply liking them. but why? and why's everyone so adamant about it?

let's say i post art on instagram. now if you want to show me you like the artwork AND want to help me spread it beyond my circle of followers you do one thing: you like it. the more people like it, the more it gets recommended by the algorithm. i don't have to do anything about it and you don't have to do anything either. the overall engagement contributes to how many people will see that artwork, even if they don't follow me. and that in turn makes me want to make more art because i know that it will be seen by many people.

now i post art on tumblr. if you were to do the same thing you did on instagram and only liked the artwork, it would do nothing to spread it beyond my circle of followers. it appears on your dash because you follow me, but if you click like it won't appear on your blog and therefore won't be shown to anyone who follows you, and in turn noone else can discover my art. liking something on tumblr is more of a "favorites" function, where it saves posts for your own reference. this is because tumblr doesn't really have an algorithm like instagram. it relies on people sharing posts around to their friends instead of an algorithm which guesses what you might want to see. this means that artwork on tumblr will only be shown to more people if others reblog it, and i might stop sharing my art on tumblr if noone is going to see it anyway.

so if you like a creator's work but don't reblog it, their work will not be seen by others. getting only one or two reblogs is the equivalent of getting only a like or two on instagram.

(a sort of working comparison would be if someone you know told you they had a small concert in your town, and you'd go to see them but never tell your friends about it. and so word never gets out about the concert and in the end only you and a handful of other people are there to see them play instead of a full house. and then they might quit altogether because noone will be at their gigs anyway)

so. ok. you get it. reblogs are the thing to do. but what if i don't WANT to share this specific thing, actually?

i mean, you do you. noone can force you to do something you don't want to do. but i hope this explanation helped you understand why creators on this platform are so adamant about reblogs.

if you don't want to have certain reblogs on your main blog because you have an aesthetic but still want to help creators then you can also make a sideblog and share their works there. you don't even need to tag anything if it's not your jam!

and just to close out this essay i want to say that i know how weird and daunting it can be to share things on your dash when you're not used to it. when i returned to tumblr after a longer hiatus i exclusively liked stuff because i didn't want others to judge me by the stuff i had on my dash. i get it. and if you really don't want to reblog i'm not telling you to. the website won't fall into utter disrepair just because a blog or two don't reblog every artwork they see. but if you DO want to share something so it gets more exposure, please consider doing it! it really helps creators out :)

(on a sidenote i personally think that it's also kind of confusing that tumblr has a feature that superficially resembles features on instagram and twitter when it has a different function. i get why it is that way but like, what if they called it favorites for example, and made it a little star instead of a heart. i think that would actually make it a lot clearer. but then again i'm not a UI/UX designer so i don't know shit about shit)

#anyway i know that my personal posts only get a few notes each and i'm not expecting this to go very far #but just a PSA for anyone who might be new here :)

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maevefiction · 6 years ago

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Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 8

I managed to wake up on time, despite the fact that I’d forgotten, yet again, to set my alarm. After putting on my glasses, I padded over to the dresser to grab my phone. I checked my notifications as I crawled back under the covers and saw there were four texts waiting for me, three of them from Tom sent late last night.

Meeting’s finito. They dragged us out for drinks. It’s 3:00 AM. I want to see you. – T

Mean Nanny Luke says it’s too late and he hid your room key from me. Asshole. – T

We meeting again with Skull people again at 11 morning tomorrow. 3:17. Bed. Night. – T

I figured he’d still be out cold and I was overwhelmed by the urge to ring his phone and rouse him unpleasantly, solely for my own amusement. I resisted, telling myself that he surely would have turned it off prior to retiring for the night. So tempting, but I decided to take the high road instead.

Good morning, Thomas. Hope you and Luke managed to get some rest and that the meeting goes well. Looking forward to seeing you both later. – M

The fourth was from Anne, sent fifteen minutes ago.

Hey kiddo, I’d love it if you’d give me a call. It’s been entirely too long since we last talked. – A

While it wasn’t a complete surprise to hear from her, given Luke had spoken with her yesterday, I honestly hadn’t expected it to happen so damn soon. Inhaling deeply through my nose, I closed my eyes for a few moments, exhaled and decided to postpone dealing with it and order breakfast instead.

My stomach grumbled as I reviewed the room service menu, my index finger tapping my lips. I grabbed the in-room phone and dialed, and my call was answered on the first ring by an obnoxiously pleasant-sounding woman.

“Good morning, Ms. Gallagher. What can we get for you today?”

Funny, they hadn’t a clue who I was when I’d ordered in over the weekend. I guess Tom Hiddleston answering your door when a meal for two was delivered elevated one’s social status.

“Good morning to you as well. May I please have an order of Belgian waffles with bacon, a large orange juice and a cup of tea? Earl Grey if you have it, sugar and cream on the side. Thanks!”

There was dead air for a few seconds. “Will that be all?” I rolled my eyes. Subtle, lady, really subtle. Sorry to disappoint, but he’s not here at the moment.

“Yep, that’s if for now, thank you.”

“Your meal should arrive in approximately twenty minutes. Aloha!”

I re-read Anne’s text and sighed, running a hand through my hair. If I called her now I could use the arrival of my meal as an excuse to get off the phone, though twenty minutes could seem like an eternity if the conversation turned to a topic I didn’t care to discuss, which it always seemed to do.

“Come on, Maude. Like a Band-Aid, right off. Pee first, then call. That should waste at least two minutes, more if you walk really slow.”

After the bathroom, I sank down into the oversized wing-back chair, phone in hand. My heart began to pound as I located her in my contacts, under ‘L’ for Lestat because it amused me to no end when ‘Lestat calling…’ came up on my screen. Anne had been a part of my life since I was ten years old. In 1988, only a few months after my parents had moved into the neighborhood, she’d returned to the Garden District of New Orleans. After rejoining the Catholic Church she met my father, a devout Irish Catholic himself, and they became fast friends.

She’d been a friend to me as well, offering unwavering support and becoming my lifeline during some incredibly difficult times. One of the hardest decisions I’d ever had to make was distancing myself from her emotionally in order to force myself to move on as I tried to heal. Though it had been a necessity, I still felt terrible about it, and I deeply missed having her to turn to for comfort.

My hands clenched and grew clammy as the pounding of my heart morphed into a dull, throbbing pain. I silently vowed to cut her off immediately if our chat veered into the past and hit the ‘call’ button.

“Maudie, honey! You took the job!” I wondered how the fuck she knew that already, then remembered she followed my twitter account and must have read the letter I linked to last night.

“Yes, Anne. I took the job. Though I wasn’t looking for one. And thanks for your glowing recommendation. Which established preconceived expectations that I will never be able to fulfill, by the way.”

“You will not only fulfill them, you will exceed them. Never underestimate your abilities, Maudie. You know better. So who is this Luke fellow? Is he as handsome as he sounds?”

I tipped my head back and stared at the ceiling, trying to prepare myself for the onslaught of Matchmaking for Maude that was about to ensue. “He is indeed.”

I could picture the sly grin that had surely spread across her face. “So? Is he single?”

“No, Anne. He’s actually engaged.”

“Well, you’re very attractive and, you know, anything can happen…”

“And he’s gay.” I thought that would do the trick. It didn’t.

“You have to introduce him to Christopher.” At least I wasn’t the only victim of her matchmaking…she’d been trying to find Mr. Right for her son as well as me forever.

“I haven’t met his fiancé but I hear they’re deliriously happy. So what’s new with you? How’s my next Lestat installment coming along?”

“I’m still researching some things, but the initial draft is essentially complete. You know, I Googled up Prosper PR and went to the facebook page and that amazingly talented actor, what’s his name…right, Tom Hiddleston, is one of his clients. I would love for him to take on the role of Lestat when the reboot of the Vampire Chronicles gets underway. Will you be working with him? Plant that seed for me, will you? Hmm, maybe he’s single?”

The thought of Tom as Lestat de Lioncourt rendered me mute for a solid thirty seconds, followed by lord knows how many more as I attempted to figure out how to weasel my way around her last question.

“Maudie, are you still on the line?”

“I…erm…yeah. Still here. Sorry, I was…multitasking. I have no idea if he’s single or not.” I was grateful that she couldn’t see my face because she’d know I was full of shit if she got one look at me. “But yes, I am working with him. I’m starting as his social media manager, which he desperately needs because he has issues with keeping his existing accounts updated and his overall presence is lacking, to say the least. Once I’ve gotten him back on track I transition into the role of social media director for Prosper. But please keep that between us. We haven’t announced anything yet, though we’re meeting tonight to discuss timelines and such.”

She chuckled, and I cringed, realizing that she still knew me entirely too well. “No idea if he’s single or not my ass. Don’t lie to Auntie Anne. You’ve already met him, haven’t you? And he’s a component of the ‘we’ and ‘we’re’, isn’t he?” I said nothing. “That incredibly long pause, in conjunction with your use of ‘am’ as opposed to ‘will be’ working with him gave you away. So, is he as beautiful in person as he is on film? And is his personality as lovely as it appears to be in interviews?”

There was a knock at the door, and my gratitude for the delivery person’s impeccable timing was boundless. “Sorry, my breakfast is here and I have to dash becau…”

She cut me off. “Maude, I did want you to call so I could congratulate you, but I also wanted to speak with you about something else. Your mother…”

I could feel every muscle in my body tensing. “Anne, how many times have I told you that I will NOT disc…”

“Please, hear me out. Her health is failing, Maude.”

“All those years of sucking down bottle after bottle of booze finally catching up with her?” The venom in my voice caught me completely off guard. As much as I insisted to myself that it was all behind me, the reality was that it was always with me, here, in the now… lurking just below the surface, ugly and dark and awful.

“I know, Maude, I know. And I hate to bring it up, but she’s in hospice and, well, I felt compelled to tell you in case you wanted to see her. Before it’s too late.” I counted to ten before I responded, focusing on all the positive things she’d done for me, hoping I could end the call courteously.

“Anne, I have to go. Be well.” I hung up before she could reply…and, thankfully, before I said something I’d wind up regretting.

************************************************** Breakfast was eaten in silence, but I’d showered and gotten ready with my iPod cranking out tunes from my ‘Fuck Off’ playlist. I’d even done a passable job on covering up the hickey. I frowned when I glanced at the clock. It was only 8:15, and I knew I had to keep moving or I’d start thinking again. As I stood on the balcony, gazing out at the azure water rolling in and out, I determined that a walk on the beach might be an ideal distraction.

Shoes in hand, messenger bag slung across my chest, I wandered down as far as I could go without getting soaked by the lapping waves. I breathed in, then out, in, and out, ever so slowly, trying to match the rhythm of the ocean. The sun warmed my face, my hands, my feet, my body…but it couldn’t quite reach into my heart. I closed my eyes and lowered my chin to my chest, using nothing but the sheer force of my will to shove the anger and pain back in the box I’d crafted for it so long ago.

I remained stock-still until the tide of somber memories began to ebb, carrying them further and further away from me, back into the turbulent sea of my past…where they fucking belonged. Always a part of me, but no longer controlling me.

My eyes opened slowly as I raised my head, and I bent down to pick up a handful of sand, letting it sift through my fingers, just as I had less than forty-eight hours before. Everything I’d overcome, the life I’d made for myself, and the promise of what was to be hit me all at once and I could feel the corners of my mouth curl up in a tiny smile. I stood, took one last look at the ocean, then turned around and headed for the conference room.

I checked my phone as I slowly worked my way down the hall, deleting five new texts from Anne without reading them. Nothing from Tom, which I fully expected. He was probably still sound asleep, all cozy and warm. Bastard. I put the phone away and pulled out my tablet to check my email, cursing myself for not doing so since Monday afternoon. One hundred and fifty-eight messages in my inbox. Fuck. I scrolled down as I walked, starring items that were urgent, until I collided with another body. My tablet went flying, landing on the floor behind me. I bent to grab it without looking up, apologizing.

“I am SO sorry…totally my fault. Reading and walking is not my forte, apparently.” I turned as I rose, and the device fell from my hands and back onto the floor as I realized just whose body I’d run into.

He was wearing black shorts, a white T-shirt and a black sweatshirt that he’d left unzipped, the hood up over his head. Aviator sunglasses hid his eyes, but he quickly removed them as he spoke softly. “Good morning.”

He leaned down and picked up my tablet, slipping it into my messenger bag before encircling me with his arms. I slid mine under his sweatshirt, ran my hands up his back ever so slowly, finally coming to rest on his shoulder blades.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m delighted to see you, but what in the ever-loving fuck are you doing up and about? It’s only 8:30. You’ve got another hour and a half to sleep, at least.” He bent to kiss me instead of replying, parting my lips gently with his tongue, then delving in to explore as his hands fell to my hips and pulled me against him. He was commando again, and rock hard. I groaned and broke the kiss, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Christ, do you even own a pair of underwear?” He laughed, then flinched. I slipped my right arm out from under his sweatshirt and gently grabbed his chin as I inspected his face. He was pale, with dark circles under his eyes that made him look bruised. “You appear to be significantly worse for wear since we last met, sir. Do I need to have a word with the gentlemen from Legendary?”

He began rubbing small circles on my lower back with one hand. “Honestly, I’d seriously consider having you stand in for me at today’s meeting if you didn’t have prior obligations.” He took the hand that held his chin and brought it to his lips, then sighed. “They just kept buying round after round…Luke and I could barely keep up. We got mortifyingly clobbered at pool and darts. I’ll never hear the end of it.”

I fished a bottle of water from my bag and offered it to him. “Here. Drink.” He stared at me, pouting.

“But I’ll have to let go of you in order to open it. And I don’t want to.” I shoved it back in my bag. He brought me in closer, bending to nuzzle my neck. “I hope my late night texts didn’t disturb your rest.”

“I didn’t hear a thing. Wish I had, though. I would have told you to get your ass up the stairs and into my bed.” He snickered, and I felt his teeth tug at my earlobe. I wiggled my hips against him. “Thank you for the note, by the way.”

He pulled back to look at me and smiled timidly. “Did you like it?”

“No.” His eyes widened, and I stood on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “I loved it. So much so that I held it in my hand while I slept.” He grasped the back of my neck, fingers easing into my hair as he pressed his lips to mine, both of our mouths falling open, tongues colliding. I sucked on his lower lip, sliding my leg up to wrap around him as he bucked against me. We froze at the sound of someone clearing their throat loudly. I leaned sideways to peek around Tom and found Serena staring back at me.

I wiped my mouth off with the back of my hand, then wiped my hand on my tunic as I stepped away from Tom. He took it in his and turned around to face her with me. My brow furrowed as I wondered what the fuck one was supposed to say in this sort of situation. Should I apologize? Should I pretend it hadn’t happened? It appeared that Tom had no clue, either. Serena burst out laughing and patted me on the shoulder.

“Good morning, Maude. I should probably give you a lecture and tell you to get a room, but I won’t because my god, the two of you are just so adorable. Dante’s loading the rest of our equipment onto the dolly. He should be here in a sec.” She opened the doors of the conference room, engaging the stoppers so they’d remain that way, then entered and began rearranging a few pieces of furniture.

I turned to Tom, shaking my head. “Public indecency. Told you so. I’m a ticking time bomb.” He smirked.

“I’m afraid I must leave you to your work, Maude. It would appear that something’s come up and needs my immediate attention.” He pulled at his shorts, adjusting himself as he whispered in my ear. “Though it would most certainly prefer your attention.” I pinched his nipple, delighting at his gasp.

“No one likes a tease, Thomas.” Dante was quickly approaching. I sighed. “On with the show, I guess.”

Tom pulled me to his chest and kissed my forehead. “Last one. And then you’re all mine.”

I poked his chest. “You need to go right now or I’m going to disappoint two hundred people when I run off with you.” He grinned. “Good luck with your meeting. I’ll see you at 4:15. Be ready to hula.”

“Oh, I’ll be ready. And I’ll bet you dinner that you can’t get Luke to join in.”

“Well, in that case, you’d better make sure there’s lots of room on your credit card, sunshine.”

“Not necessary. Won’t ever happen.” He waved as he turned and walked down the hall. I called after him.

“You are so very, very wrong.” I watched him go, biting down on my thumb. Sex on legs. Absolute truth. Serena spoke from behind me.

“Maude, Dante needs you to stand on a few marks.”

“Oh, yeah. Sure. Thanks.”

“If he happens to come back before we leave, would you mind terribly if I asked him for a pic with me?” A light blush colored her cheeks. I laughed, shaking my head.

“Nope. Not one single bit.”

************************************************** It seemed as if it was over as soon as it began, and I even managed to keep my shit together when the attendees gave me a send-off standing ovation at the end of the last lecture hour. Though my emotions were mixed about being done with something that had kept me going for so long, I couldn’t help but feel…free.

Tom had stopped in during our first break, transformed from hung over frat boy to runway model after a hot shower, a huge breakfast and a gorgeous charcoal bespoke suit. He hadn’t worn a tie, and his white dress shirt was open at the neck. It took five tries on my part to get a decent shot of him and Serena, mainly because she kept looking at him instead of the camera, but my shaking hands factored in as well. I’d need to get over that shit pronto if I was going to be on photography duty for the foreseeable future. She asked if she could post it online, and I told her it was fine as long as she didn’t include location details.

It was 4:08 when I got back to my room, leaving me just enough time to change into my hiking shorts and vintage X-Files T-shirt. I did a little happy dance at the prospect of being able to spend more time in casual clothes…I’d amassed quite a collection of graphic tees over the years that I hardly ever got to wear, and now that a good portion of my work would be behind the scenes, I could.

“Well, that’s a fucking plus I hadn’t even considered. Comfy clothes, baby. Bring it on!” I ended the dance with a fist in the air as I entered the bathroom. I put my hair up in a ponytail, not even bothering to brush it first. My black Rio Birkenstocks were nowhere to be found, and, thinking about it, I hadn’t seen them since Monday. After tearing the rest of room apart, I spotted them in the little open cubby under one of the nightstands where Tom must have tucked them when he did my laundry. I strapped them on, grabbed my wallet, keys, phone, and iPod from my bag and stuffed them in my pockets, making up a little song as I danced some more.

“I love pants with pockets and I can wear them all the time and that is fucking cool because…shit. Because I’m a mime? Because I like to rhyme? Damn, I used to be GOOD at this. Ah, fuck it. POCKETS!”

One of the things I abhorred most about dress clothing was the lack of pockets. Carrying any type of bag made me feel weighed down, plus they always either fell off my shoulder or smacked me in the ass as I walked, yet I had stuff that needed to be stored somewhere. Men’s pants had the best pockets, and I often opted for those over the women’s version.

I took a last look at my reflection in the mirror. “Off you go, Maude. New chapter and all that.” I opened the room door and meandered down the steps, hand trailing along the rail. Tom and Luke were waiting for me outside their suites.

I flung my arms out to the side. “Who’s ready to HULA?!”

Luke groaned, rolling his eyes as Tom raised his hand and shouted, “I AM, I AM!”

I put a hand on Luke’s shoulder. “Come on, Luke, let your hair down a little.” He snorted.

“I tried that last night and found it to be rather disadvantageous.” He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. Tom smirked at me and mouthed ‘this is a bet you cannot win’. I threw him double birds. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the keys to his rental car dangling them in front of me.

“Shall we?” I shook my head.

“Let’s take my Jeep. Feel the breeze. Be rugged.” Luke held up his hand.

“Please, no. The jouncing around might kill me.” I huffed.

“Fine, fine. Have it your way. But if the car has an auxiliary jack you might be sorry I acquiesced.”

He was indeed sorry, as Tom and I sang the entire 11 minutes it took to get to the Kaua’i Museum. Towards the end of Pharell’s ‘Happy’ he appeared to be contemplating opening the door and leaping into traffic.

“I’m not sure what’s making me more nauseated…the hangover or the two of you caterwauling up there.” I reached back to pat his knee.

“I promise I’m not always this obnoxiously elated, Luke. I’m just on a quit-my-old-job-today-and-have-a-super-cool-new-one high. It won’t last.”

He nodded his head. “Mmm hmm. And I’m sure it has nothing to do with our chauffer.”

I glanced over at Tom, put my hand to the side of my mouth and looked back at Luke, whispering. “He is awfully pretty, isn’t he?” He rested his head in his hands as the car made an abrupt right turn into the museum parking lot.

It was a lovely place, located on Rice Street in the Albert Spencer Wilcox and William Hyde Rice buildings. Hula classes were conducted by members of the Daughters or Hawai’i in the courtyard, as the museum itself closed at five. There were a total of eleven of us, and just as Tom predicted, Luke immediately sat on the sidelines while the rest of us gathered around the instructor. Her name was Iolana and she appeared to be in her late fifties. As she explained that hula is a dance accompanied by a chant (oli) or song (mele), the dance portraying the words in a visual format I stared at Luke and tapped my foot.

Iolana asked us all to move behind her, at least three feet apart, and I flung my hand out at Luke and then pointed to the open space next to me. He shook his head. I pouted. Then I put my hands together, silently begging, mouthing ‘please?’ while batting my eyelashes. No way in hell was I losing this bet. He sighed, put his chin on his chest and hefted himself out of the chair to join us. I turned to Tom and stuck my tongue out. He shook his head and stepped closer so he could whisper in my ear.

“He hasn’t actually danced yet, Maude.” I slapped his arm.

We were instructed to stand with feet apart, left knee bent and our hands on our hips, then step with our left foot and slide our right foot next to the left, bending that knee. The process was repeated in the opposite direction. After we mastered the steps, it was time for some hip action…raising it in time with and in the opposite direction of the step, keeping both knees bent. Iolana turned to check our progress and immediately went to Luke, putting her hands on his hips and pushing them in the correct direction. I turned to Tom and grinned. He shook his finger at me.

“He’s not using his hands.” I rolled my eyes. Iolana had moved back to the front to continue the lesson. One arm bent at the elbow in front of the body, the other extended out from it in the direction of the step, head facing that way as well, fingers together and hands moving at the wrists like a wave. Again, the process was repeated in the opposite direction when moving that way.

Iolana taught us a few more arm motions and explained what they meant, advising that they were only the chorus of a mele called Eleile, which we’d be ‘telling’ over and over for the duration of the class, then turned on the music. I glanced at Luke, then turned to Tom and started doing alternating wave motions rapidly with my hands in front of me. He tilted his head.

“That doesn’t look like a legitimate hula hand motion, Maude.” I grinned.

“It’s not. Do you want to know what it means?”

“No.”

“Sure you do. It’s my visual interpretation of ‘you lose, sucker’.” I thumbed in Luke’s direction. He was dancing, and it looked like he might even be enjoying it a little. Tom hung his head in defeat, and I tried to refrain from drooling as I watched him roll his hips. I kept missing steps and had to close my eyes in order to focus. The tempo of the music increased, and without the distraction of keeping an eye on Luke or ogling Tom I completely lost myself in the dance. It was an incredible feeling, moving faster, back and forth, the rhythm and motions of my body conveying this brief chapter of a story via a method that had been used for generations, dating back to ancient times when indigenous peoples worshiped volcano goddesses.

I heard clapping, faint at first but louder as more people joined in. I opened my eyes, discovering that I was the only one still dancing other than Iolana. And that everyone was staring at me. I stopped. A huge grin spread across her face.

“Miss, where did you study hula, if you don’t mind my asking?”

I swallowed. “I’m Maude. And, just here. I’ve never done it before.”

Her eyes widened. “Well, Miss Maude, it’s very unusual for someone to catch on so quickly, especially a first-timer. I guess you’re just a natural.” She put her hand on my shoulder. “You dance beautifully, my dear. I’m sure your boyfriend would agree.” She smirked knowingly at Tom, then began to circulate amongst the other participants, stopping to speak to Luke first.

Boyfriend. Is that what he is? I turned to face Tom, and what I saw in his eyes was overwhelming. Desire, passion, admiration, awe, joy, and something else that I didn’t think I was ready or willing to hang a name on quite yet. I waved self-consciously.

“Hi there.” I watched him take several deep breaths, and I noticed he had his phone in his hand.

“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, did you film that?!” He nodded. I groaned and covered my face with my hands. He pulled them away gently, and now that he was right in front of me I could see his eyes shone with tears.

“Sorry. My original intent was to video Luke so I could email it to Simon, which I did, but then you…and I had to. It was one of the most breathtaking things I’ve ever seen. Here, watch it.” I shook my head.

“Nope. Maybe later.” He reached out to touch my face, fingers feathering over my cheekbone and down to my jaw.

“Alright. Later. But I don’t think I’ll ever be the same. The rest of us, we were just moving. But you, you told a story. An ancient, timeless story.” He waved to get Iolana’s attention. She excused herself from her chat with two older ladies and came over to us.

“Hello, Iolana. I’m Tom.” She shook his proffered hand. “Do you happen to have an English translation of the chorus you taught us today?”

“Yes, I do. Right up here.” We followed her to the table that held her portable stereo and paperwork. She pulled a sheet out of a purple folder. “I’m so pleased you’re interested in learning more. An hour is such a short period of time and I have to focus intently on the dancing, so I rarely get to talk about the song itself. This is the chorus of the mele. Eleile is a dark swirling pool on Maui, also known as the water that returns the ti. It is customary to break a ti leaf stalk and throw it into the pool. As the water swirls, the leaves are unfurled, then pushed back into a long, tight bud.” She handed it to him. He read it, then passed it to me without saying a word. I read it. Then I re-read the chorus again. And again.

Dark is the water of Eleile The cold dwelling place of the mist It is made warm by love That stood close at my side

I felt his hand on my forearm. I refused to look away from the words on the paper. He spoke, voice fraught with emotion he struggled to contain.

“Looks like you were telling our story.” My hands were shaking, eyes still fixed on the mele chorus. He put his on top of them, steadying me. “When you danced…I swear I could see your soul. And oh, how it called to me, Maude.”

Silence surrounded us, and as I raised my gaze I noted that everyone was staring at me. Again. I inhaled, then let it out with a whoosh as my eyes found his. I still couldn’t quite manage to form words. He took a step closer to me, moving his hands to my shoulders.

“I know it’s only been two days since we met, and that you’ll very well likely think me certifiably insane for saying this, and perhaps I am, but every fiber of my being is screaming at me to do so and sometimes you just have to fight your fears and say fuck it, come on, so…Maude, I am totally, completely, utterly, madly in love with you.”

My mouth dropped open, then closed as I bit my lower lip. Right. Fight my fears. Sure. Fuck it, why not? I shrugged. “Well, Thomas, in that case we’d best pick out some matching straitjackets because I, too, have clambered aboard the crazy train. Wildly, wholly, entirely, absofuckingloutely in love. With you.”

He kissed me, briefly, sweetly. The tiny crowd oohed and ahhed, then began to disperse. As we said our goodbyes and thanks to Iolana Luke came over, phone raised, smiling. I rolled my eyes.

“Let me guess. You filmed all of that. What is with you people?” He laughed, and I shook my head. “Well, now we have even more details to discuss. And I want pizza. Can we get pizza? Let’s get pizza. LOTS of pizza. Tom’s even buying. Right, Tom? Or was all this a distraction so you could welsh out on our bet?”

He put his arm around my waist and kissed the top of my head as we exited the courtyard. “You can’t blame me for trying, can you?”

Luke’s eyes narrowed. “What bet?”

I looked at Tom. “You tell him.”

He shook his head. “I’m not telling him.”

Luke ran in front of us, stopped, arms crossed. “Someone had better tell me.”

We remained silent and walked around him to the car. Luke groaned as he got in. “Already conspiring against me. Fine. Don’t tell me. But I’m going to order ten fucking pizzas, just for spite.”

He took out his phone, clicked something, and the sounds of hula music filled the vehicle.

“Thomas William Hiddleston, did you send Simon a video of me doing the hula?” Tom started to chuckle.

“Me? Why on earth would you think I’d do such a thing?”

Luke snorted. “Because you fucking did, that’s why. Hmm, I think I’m starting to see how this went down. Your bet involved whether or not I’d dance. Maude suckered me into it and won. Tom, I’m going to kick your ass when we get out of this car. Maude, I’m impressed. Mildly disappointed in your behavior, but impressed just the same. And Simon says to tell you you’re a wonderful dancer.”

I turned to see Luke’s phone, hoping to catch a glimpse of Simon’s face. I got lucky…it was his lock screen background, or so I assumed. “Is that Simon?” He nodded and passed me the phone. “Damn, Luke, he’s gorgeous.” Luke grinned.

“Even more so in person. You’ll get to meet him tomorrow. He’s flying out to stay for a bit. In the beach house we’ll all be sharing.”

I turned to Tom, tilting my head quizzically. “Um, beach house? What beach house?”

He smirked, then shrugged. “What can I say? The meetings with the Legendary people went well. Really, really well.”

#your light in the mist #chapter 8

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taiblogcomics · 6 years ago

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Apple of My Pie

Hey there, number one trending topic on Japanese Twitter. More ponies? Yes. Back to the main series again, I think, yeah? We'll get back to not-ponies someday, don't you worry about that~

Here's the cover:

Yes, Pinkie, annoying Rainbow Dash is my favourite pasttime too. This is a really cute picture. The expressions are great, and the little details are very appealing, like the lollipops laced into Pinkie's flower necklace. Octavia's not thrilled about being trapped on a cake, but she should be thrilled just to be on a cover~

Okay, first of all, shout-out to the artist, Toni Kuusisto. They've gotta be new, since I haven't seen them before, and they're really good. Very vibrant expressions and detail. I hope to see them do more issues in the future! So anyway, we open with Pinkie Pie in her secret base. She's answered a fan letter, which thanks her for taking the writer's mind off their troubles for a while. Pinkie is glad to get letters, but she's frustrated that she can only solve somepony's problems "for a while". She lays out her big plan. If she could just edit Ponyville a bit, she could make everypony happy forever~

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Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle meets Applejack out at her farm. A very mysterious thing has happened out at Sweet Apple Acres: a golden apple has sprouted. Fortunately, it doesn't say "for the fairest" on it. In fact, it might be even more dangerous. Applejack relays to Twilight exactly what the issue is: the golden apple grants the eater whatever their heart desires, so long as their desire is strong and their heart is pure. And if you guessed that Pinkie Pie was the one who ate it, you can probably see the inevitable chaos coming down the road. Her very first wish was to overgrow the apple tree, so its fruit would all be just as delicious as the golden apple.

Realising the seriousness of the situation, Applejack and Twilight dash off, and already Ponyville has gotten some alterations. Pink grass, sugar-based roads, trees that sprout candy... Like Discord took over, but more Pinkie-like. And the first pony they encounter, they almost miss. Fluttershy is here, but you can barely see her. Pinkie has thoughtfully wished that Fluttershy would blend into the background all the time, just like she likes, and now even her close friends can barely tell she's there. You can see the harm in good intentions, yeah~?

And so, Pinkie goes skipping down the street, setting her plans into action. She wishes that the yarn-seller's whole cart was made of yarn. She wishes Rarity's necklace shone even brighter. She wishes everypony could hear Octavia's music, no matter where they were. She wishes the roads were made of liquid chocolate! That the clouds were balloons! Than the sun was bigger and brighter than ever!! Improvements for everypony! When life's a party, why would you ever want it to stop?? And naturally, almost immediately her changes cause trouble, as Rainbow Dash flies headlong into one of her balloon-clusters.

After battling the balloons, Rainbow spots her friends and heads down to ask them for help. Unfortunately, even Twilight's near-godlike magical powers can stop Pinkie. She has to want to stop. Rarity also comes over, but unfortunately (another one of those episode where I'll be using that word a lot~) her necklace is now so luminescent that it's blinding all her friends. She discards it just as Pinkie shows up, jump-scaring the group. Rainbow point-blank asks her if she knows the purpose of clouds, which Pinkie admits she does not. Among other things, they block out the sun, which has begun to become oppressive. Pinkie retorts that balloons are important for a party. And when Twilight replies that life isn't a party, Pinkie basically states that her intent is to fix this notion~

And as she accidentally teleports herself by wishing, we're treated to a two-page spread of Pinkie's new reality. Buildings replaced with giant cakes, huge lollipops growing from the ground. One stallion is crushed by a giant disco ball. Carrot Top finds she can't swim in the thick chocolate river that's replaced the roads. Pinkie's friends are justly horrified, and Pinkie tries to fix it by wishing the rivers solid. This instead has the effect of just closing around Carrot Top, incapacitating her further. Pinkie returns it to liquid, and Carrot Top barely manages to drag herself ashore.

Twilight tries to reason with Pinkie. Pinkie protests that she's just trying to make life happier for everypony, not just herself. Life is a party, and she wants to share it with everypony. A never-ending parade of sunshine and confetti and cookies. Fluttershy points out what happens when you eat too many cookies, and suddenly things click for Pinkie. She's realised what she's doing is wrong. Before they can just wish it all better, though, disaster strikes. The looming sun has now set fire to a house, plunging it into the chocolate road and setting it ablaze. Fortunately (there's the better variation of the word~), Pinkie has a plan.

Applejack and Rarity drag in some fallen trees (physically, to Rarity's complaints), and Pinkie lashes them together using the yarn from the yarn-seller's cart. Twilight and Rainbow gather some of the balloon clouds and add them to the log rafts. And with Fluttershy organising a bucket brigade, they use these flying platforms as aerial support to douse the flames from above. Very abruptly, the magic all wears off. Pinkie no longer has to worry. And later on, Pinkie throws a little apology party for all her friends. A small one, not too extravagant. She jokes that now she has pointers for how to handle the roads the next time she gets omnipotent magic powers, which her friends don't find that funny~

This issue is a lot of fun, if a bit similar to previous stories. Something about Pinkie just makes her a good choice for stories about abuse of magical powers. Such is the nature of chaotic good, I suppose. Either way, though, the art really sells it, like I said earlier. The expressions are just really good. Very cute and well done~

Next issue: another Golden Girls rerun. I mean, what~?

#comics #reviews #My Little Pony Friendship is Magic IDW #Taiblog #Pinkie Pie

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syxsol-blog · 7 years ago

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hey guys. not so happy annoucement this time, but bear with me

I have health issues that i need to focus on for now, so ive decided to leave the directory (a wandering ghost of a character around the ship doesn’t really help development of the directory you know??). i know it seems really sudden, but i wouldn’t leave like this if it wasnt really important for me to. I love everyone here, i love the story line, and i love watching everyone create these super detailed characters to drive along the plot.

however, im a pretty sappy person, so ive decided to write some personal goodbyes. some of you i didnt get to speak with on as regular of a basis, but i still read your stuff on dash and appreciated you creating a story and experiecing that passion second hand. without further hesitation...

@sysidereus you’re married to multiple people but i GUESS that’s fine. as long as im the number one wife, it’s okay. ;) I love talking to you, even if it’s unrelated to the directory or just random shit about tv shows like jane the virgin (i still wanna make that meme board including the entire crew of serenity). we vibe well, and you’re an incredible writer. sid has always been one of my favorite muses here, and the one thing i regret-- TWO things i regret are not being able to talk you as much, and not being able to see sol and sid become best friends but sorta gay. like naruto and sasuke. honestly i adore you, and i hope i see you around again.

@syxephraim babe babe babe Bae. I know you’ve been worrying about my disappearance acts for a while, but ill say it a hundred times over. you’re one of the best rp partners ive ever had. no contest, really. you’re incredibly sweet and wonderful, too. the plot between eph and sol is one of my favorite plots ive ever had, and I’ve had a LOT of plots, trust me. there’s nothing quite like finding a writer like you who i can trade headcanons back and forth so seamlessly until it becomes this story that’s bigger than i ever imagined. there is not one moment i regret logging in to send you a message, even just a quick one before i fell off the earth. i wish i had more time to develop the relationship between sol and ephraim. spoiler for you: Sol is in love with ephraim, and he has been since he left persephone. He loves that boy down to his core, and there’s no changng that. I hope to return one day so I can write with you again. You’re loved, angel. Don’t doubt that.

@kamorasy what’s funny is our characters always end up in brother/sister roles together. you have me on twitter, too, so we won’t lose contact, but you still get a sweet message from me because *clenches fists meme* I just love you that much. we knew each other from vanta black, too. and girl... your characters are like discovering treasure. so complex, well thought out, and experately played. we’re always able to headcanon w each other (altho for some reason we can never quite actually rp). but i never have a problem writing with you. it runs like clockwork. take care of yourself, okay? & if you ever need someone to drive away a strange man that hits on you, call me up

@syjaewon Queen Bee. you’ve been really understanding with everything and i can’t even say how much i appreciate that. like... wow. two directories we’ve known each other, and in each one, im awed by you. jaewon is an unforgettable muse, he really is, and you’re unforgettable mun, you really are. you’ve built an amazing place for people to come to and feel safe to express and write stories together. in all my rp years, ive only seen that a few times. thank you for letting me be a part of serenity, and you know where to find me if you ever need me. <3

@syxhenry Hi, doll. sorry that goodbyes have come down to this long ass message full of sap. i still think it’s hilarious that you were in kingsman & i didnt realize that till much later. there’s something very special about your characters. they’re all so well done, and the way you write them makes you want to keep reading everything about them. i’m lucky that i did get to write with you in not one, but two different places. henry and sol’s relationship didn’t develop quite as far as i would have loved to see them go, but there’s always more opportnities. i loved talking to you about characters, and plotting out the bizarre admiration sol has for henry. and i will always probably ship henry/noi. can you blame me?

@syaudrey im crying in the club right now because i have to say goodbye to one of the muns of a kickass engineering lady. you make me happy bc of how you are as a person, and the fact you’re writing about characters people don’t normally write about. can i just say how much i love the fact that audrey is asexual and amazing and complex and hilariously prickly all in one? sol and audrey are so funny bc all sol wants is to be friends with her, and she finds his bubbly attitude suspicious. i wish we’d gotten to rp that relationship to completion. we only started talking more frequently for a little bit, but omg i wish id had more time to chat with you. you’re so great and so is your muse. i only wish you the best, babe.

@sysullivan i only hope you can forgive me... maybe if i get on my knees. we had a lot of plans, and im sad we didnt get to write them out together. maybe some day, right? you’re one of the first people i talked to a LOT here, and i just want to thank you for humoring me, especially when i would send you the most ridiculous ideas or thoughts about things. also, i was the one that sent that secret admirer message that one time. ;))))) sol’s little crush on sullivan was really fun for me to write out, even if i only got to for a short time. what i like about you the most as a writer is how much thought and detail you put into your characters. absolutely blows my mind, honestly it does. i hope you never stop writing that way. you’re brilliant. thank you for sticking with me

@syxyihan you NEVER fail to make me smile, it’s incredible. plus writing with you is always really fun-- i had the most fun writing with you because you’re not afraid to be silly or a little ridiculous. i love both versions of your muse with all my heart, and i enjoyed every second i did get to speak with you. you’re in the wind now, like i am, but i still hope you see this. your creations are some of my favorite to see, and i really hope you keep writing. there’s a particular quality about your writing that makes you want to keep reading and reading and reading, and you’re sad when you reach the end of it because you want to see more. i loved the relationships between our characters even if they were short lived... and for the love of god i need real closure with yihan and henry. im crying. BUT. ill just write fanfic for them instead. LMAOO. your writing is gorgeous, it really is. best of luck to you <3 thank you

@syxmina mina is my kick ass cool aunt :( you’re one of the first people i interacted with... and their dynamic is sol being the annoying little kid who almost gets killed by mina all the time. yet, i love that. she never really killed him and deep down i like to think she still sort of... tolerates him in a positive way. i love mina will all of my sol (LMAO LET ME BE LAME). the way you play her is great to see. i hope you keep writing, and continue to spread your creativity. it’s worth wtinessing every time

@syxsonmi WE NEVER GOT tooooo WRITE. i’ll always remember you becuase you plotted that super cool, super dark plot with me right from the start. it takes a certain person to go crazy with that subject material right along with me, BUT YOU STILL DID AND I ADORE YOU FOR IT. you’re also a dreamcatcher fan and i gotta protect my fellow dreamcatcher friends. siyeon is my wife and ill worship her until i die but i digress. i love sonmi, and im sad we never got to write out that super cool plot. i only hope you can forgive me for disappearing on you. i loved watching sonmi develop beyond her trauma. you write her well, and this rp wouldnt be the same without you

@sybyul you thought i wouldn’t mention you, didn’t you? Well, think again. we didn’t get to writing that super awesome dynamic between our characters, but it’ll live on in my head and ill always remember you fondly. 1) you’re a really talented writer. 2) you’re really funny lmao afFALSKJKl. i wish i had more time with you, but maybe ill come back, or maybe we’ll run into each other again in a different directory. your writing is gorgeous, i never get tired of reading your application ( i think ive read it at least five times ). no lie. sorry that we have to part ways like this, but i really did enjoy being around you. remember to watch ice spiders or dragon wars & hate me for bringing that into your life. <3

at @ everyone else.

you make this place unforgettable, you really do. ive been here for a while, although i have been a ghost, i still logged in to keep up with the activity and the development of everyone’s characters. i don’t regret one moment or one second i spent here. one reason i didn’t write a solo of sol leaving is because i hope to return, i really do. but for now

you’re all talented, and I enjoyed watching all of you be so creative and passionate about this place. i love all of you. and since ive already been sappy, ill be a little even more sappy. remember to be kind to people, take care of yourselves, and keep writing.

see you, space cowboy

#[ ooc; ]

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